Thursday, 27 September 2012
This snap show brought to you by our friend PMS.
I woke up this morning....and my eyes were pretty much glued shut. They were swollen and sore and puffy in a way that only a couple hours of ugly crying can do. Why ugly crying? Well, let me tell ya a little story! Now this story requires a little set up.....here goes.....it's that time of the month. Okay? Got the scenario? Now for the snap show. So yesterday, I wound up working late, which I don't usually do on Wednesdays, and that fact alone messed up my entire day. All morning I thought I was going into Thursday....the clients I was imagining were my Thursdays clients, the time I started and finished were my Thursday times etc....so I show up for work and I'm actually on time! Hooray! I brag about this fact to Nicole, sit down and look at my schedule and realize I'm actually an hour early. I don't start till 11. Great, good start. So I dick around for an hour until my day gets underway and all of a sudden I realize I forgot to bring myself any dinner (because I'm working late) and also any lunch....and my stomach is growling and apparently I've forgotten to eat breakfast too. Huh. Would have had time for that seeings how I was an HOUR EARLY. So if anybody knows me, they know that lack of food makes me reaaalllllyyyy squirrly, and not in a good way....no cute little fluffy squirrel for me, no no no....I'm a rabid flying squirrel who is waiting to launch myself at your jugular and eat through your heart. Lovely right? So I'm mixing colour and Nicole says "why are you crying??" which I'm not....yet.....but apparently lack of food makes me super emotional too. A bi-polar, rabid squirrel waiting to claw your eyes out. Now throw PMS into the mix and WHOA man....shit just got serious. So somehow I make it through my day, barely, and even manage to get to the gym, where I proceed to attempt some new stuff and realize I haven't been in a while and I'm sore and grumpy and ow. Then I have to go from there to pick up Gavin from dance so I fly up, barely making it on time, to Turning Point at the other end of town, then back to work to close up and cash out and then off to home. So I'm sweaty, stinky and sore from the gym. A nice hot shower and bed! I ask Barry if he bought toilet paper and toothpaste today, cause I had texted him that we were out in the morning. Now, we've actually been squeezing empty toothpaste tubes for a few days....cutting the tops off and trying to scoop out every last little bit, always forgetting to buy a new tube somehow....never mind the fact that Barry works in a grocery store, so it's usually up to him to grab this stuff before coming home. Barry says "didn't even cross my mind" and I get in a huff and say that I had texted it to him, along with lunch snacks...which he GOT....so if he got the text about lunch snacks, he got the one about toilet paper and toothpaste. So now I'm even more grumpy. I GUESS I'm going up to SAFEWAY (end of town I just came from) to get toothpaste because I would really LOVE to brush my teeth today or tomorrow. I storm out and head on up to Safeway and it's like 9:30pm by the time I get there. I'm tired, sore, grumpy and then I realize, I don't have a fucking quarter for the shopping carts. Like seriously, a quarter is enough to guarantee someone isn't going to steal it?? I mean really, to me, .25 is a pretty good bargain for one of those shopping carts! Think of everything you could haul around....empty wine bottles, full wine bottles, other liquor bottles...really, the possibilities are endless! Mmmm....liquor.....wait, where was I?? RIGHT, so no quarter. So there I am, carrying a giant, large, embarrassing amount of toilet paper (it was on sale) and 3 boxes of toothpaste (also on sale) and with every step dropping one of the boxes and having to pick it up while swearing, trying to get to the self checkout. So I scan all my stuff through and the stupid self checkout is all "unexpected item blah blah" so I'm lifting things and trying to place them on the side and the lady has to come over and help me and I'm reaaaallllly annoyed and finally I can pay! I dig through my purse.....no wallet. What. The. Fuck. So I ask the lady if she can hold my stuff, I obviously left my wallet in the car! Yeah, that's it! Halfway across the parking lot and the realisation that my wallet is in my gym bag at home and I looooooooooooooose it. I start sobbing. Like, my entire family was murdered by a rabid squirrel type sobbing. I'm trying to get to my car before anyone sees me and I'm blinded by tears and kind of running in an awkward my ass hurts from too many squats at the gym way. I get in the car and melt down. I'm wearing a big sweater of Barry's so I'm using the sleeves to wipe at my eyes and nose, smearing mascara and snot and tears all over my face. I manage to get control of myself enough to drive home, but I keep hiccuping sobs and having to wipe my eyes, making a giant mess. I finally get home and don't even bother to compose myself. I head straight up to bed and cry myself to sleep. Over toothpaste and toilet paper? Not really I suppose, but when PMS is in full force, what better reason is there to ugly cry for a couple hours? This morning Barry made a very small attempt at a joke regarding leaving ones wallet, but I think the death glare scared him into silence. Maybe tomorrow we can joke....maybe.