Shit in my fridge

Why oh why is my fridge so full???  All the time....it's like....crammed!  What the hell is in there???  Nothing to eat, or so the kids always like to inform me!  So I thought I'd break it down and see really, what the heck is in there.....my findings were a little odd!  A few highlights were....

Beer.  Lots and lots of beer.  We don't actually drink much beer, but every time someone comes over and brings beer, we put it in the fridge.  They should come back and drink it.

Condiments...like, every condiment known to man kind.  Ketchup, soy sauce, fish sauce, teriyaki sauce, stir fry sauce, sweet and sour sauce, bbq sauce, thai sweet chili sauce, worchesterschire sauce, A1 steak sauce, plum sauce, honey mustard sauce, tequila lime sauce and it goes on and on and on.  Who needs this many sauces?  When helping us move one time, my Baba commented "there's more condiments in here then at Kootenay Market!"...it's probably true.

6 dark chocolate bars.  Six.  Different.  Kinds.  See, I don't like dark chocolate.  So they are safe here.

4 open bottles of pop.  Is anyone going to drink these after they sit and get stale?  No.  So why save them in the fridge?

5 jars of open salsa.  I swear, every time I go grocery shopping I say "are we out of salsa?" and Barry says "not sure, but I think so!" and BAM!  Salsa coming out of our ears.

Box of pizza.  At any given time, I could PROMISE you on my LIFE that we would have a box of delivery pizza in our fridge. 

Every single jam type in the world.  And what kinds will my kids eat?  Raspberry.  That is all.  So what shall I do with the lemon, peach, grape, strawberry, mixed berry, wild berry etc jars of jam?  Is there a "Jams for the Homeless" collection box?

8 sandwich bags with 8 mystery cheese in them.  Some are white, some are kind of greenish by now.  Little tiny left over bits of cheese that I save in a ziploc bag.  Could I actually name 8 different kinds of cheese?  I'm going to say it's possible, but I'd probably be lying.

Tiny, not quite enough for a full serving, amounts of leftovers from dinner on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.  All saved in plastic containers.  But they are not ever quite enough for a meal, so everyone always looks at them, thinks "hmm, not enough" and puts them back.  Good thing I saved it all!

A bag of pitted dates and a bag of figs.  I vaguely remember making a recipe a while back that called for 5 dates and 5 figs.  So now I have entire bags of each.

2 open bottles of red wine and 1 of white.  We are total wine snobs and will not drink old, open wine.  So how come we always put the cork back in and refrigerate them??  Also, some ciders left over from the last time Gillian brought some over.  When was that??  It's been months.  And months.  And months.

Honestly, that's about it!  So I guess we really don't have any food in there.  Unless you count the boarder line science experiment bags of veggies in my crisper.  I was kind of embarrassed to find them in the state they were in so I didn't mention them.  Okay okay, who am I kidding....I couldn't tell what vegetable they were, so I didn't mention them.  Also, did I throw them out upon discovery?  No.  If I did, I would have had to clean the crisper drawer.  And that makes me gag.  Don't judge me.