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Thursday, 10 May 2012

Shit my Kids Say.....and I love them regardless.

So my kids....they are all very....colourful.  I'm not sure who possibly they most take after, but I'm pretty sure it's their dad.  They come up with some of the most amazing statements...it just really blows my mind.  Sometimes these things are appropriate, sometimes not so much.  Here's a few memorable moments from the last few years of some of the things out of Kohens mouth-

K (the 6 year old)-


"You smell like dog."  This said to our babysitter...who has many dogs.

"I don't know who I'm going to marry, but I know I'm not going to marry a boy."

"Mom?  How many trees are there in the whole wide world?"

"Haha you're funny cause you pee out your butt.  Mom?  Do girls pee out their butts?"

"Girls like you don't have any money!" this said to one of the girls who I work with.

"It's really fucking cold in here!" testing out swearing while driving in the van...and yes, it was really fucking cold in there.

"It's really fucking cold in here!" this said when coming home to our house after Barry refused to turn the furnace on anymore for the season.

"Where the hell are we?" said as he looked up from his book while parked waiting for Barry at the bank.

An interaction between K (6) and G (12);
Gav- I had a bad day. Kohen pushed me down the path and was calling me bad names.
Me- what kinds of bad names?
Gav- I'd prefer not to say.
Me- just say it.
Gav- vagina okay? He was saying "Gav is a vagina" over and over.

"I just held my breath and counted to 100!............but just my nose."

"Dad...did you stay and watch my whole hockey game?" Barry says no he didn't "I scored goals!" which he didn't.

Me - What do you want for breakfast?
Koh - Get a shotgun, shoot a cow and I'll eat that.

While sitting on the toilet in the morning "Now I'll nevah (he doesn't pronouce his R's so this is how never sounds) go to school!!  NEVAH!  I can't!  I'm stuck here with poo stuck in my bum!"

"Mom?  Me and Gav are bastards, but not Lenny, right??  But why are we bastards?"

Koh - Mom...I don't feel good.
Me - Why?
Koh - Because I miss Grandma..........aaannnnnd my poop keeps getting stuck.........aaaaaaannnnnnd I wish to be Lenny cause he never gets punished, or hit AND GAVIN HIT ME WITH HIS GUN!  DAD!  GAVIN HAS BEEN ATTACKING ME ALL DAY!

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