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Monday, 20 June 2011

Pure Enjoyment

When I first read this months topic, I thought "easy!".  I mean, I'm joyful.....I like stuff!  So what do I like to do for a past time?  For pure enjoyment?  Huh.  Nothing is coming to me.  Well, there is one thing.  And it's nagging at me in the back of my head, but I'm going to ignore it because it can't be the answer I'm looking for.  I know!  Cooking!  I cook!  I love to cook!  But, I mean, I don't ever cook just to like...cook.  I cook cause I have to make a meal.  Sometimes I make more elaborate meals for fun....but would I call it a past time....huh.  No.  Okay....so what else.  Umm....work?  I work.  Alot.  And in my free time, I work some more.  Is this a past time?  No....probably not.  I think this defeats the purpose of doing something for pure enjoyment as a past time.  But I work more then I do anything.  Okay....scratch work.  Let's see here..........I used to read.  Then I had kids.  Now I don't have time to read.  This one time I started collecting stamps!  But I was 10 and gave it up by 10 1/2.  OH, I run!!!!  I love to run!  I mean, when I do run.  I've kind of fallen off the running bus.  I got really sick....blah blah blah....and now I'm back a bunch of weeks that I had already made progress on....and I'm discouraged.  So I haven't really ran in like....a while.  But I liked it.  And I would do it for....not really joy.....because it always kind of hurt and I wasn't really good at it.....sooooo.........huh.  This is harder then I thought.  Never mind my little voice in my head.  It's talking bullshit and I don't have to listen.  UMMM..........pure enjoyment....past time.....OH!  I drink wine!  Wait.....that makes me sound like a drunk.  I don't like drink wine till I'm drunk every day....I usually take a day off where I just drink till tipsy every now and again....annnnd...I mean, we do go through a lot of wine....but if it's like our hobby?  Then that's okay?  Right?  No?  Okayyyy......so that does sound a bit.....lush-ey.  So ignore all that.  I'm sure I don't drink more then like five one glass a day...really.....soooo..............okay okay okay.  I'm going to say it.  And I hate that this is my answer.  And it's more important to me then eating, or sleeping, or working, or like......sex stuff......or shopping....or anything.  My pure enjoyment past time is......online social media.  You name it....I love it.....twitter, facebook, blogger, gmail, email, TFLN, etsy, regretsy, ebay, damnyouautocorrect, myspace...haha...just kidding about the myspace.  I mean, I love it all.  And that makes me really sad that this is what I choose to do for enjoyment as a past time. 

"What do you do for fun?" "Me?  Oh, I tweet."

So for pure enjoyment and in my free time, I plug in.  I guess the important thing is I can unplug and cook, or run or read and I also enjoy those things.  But hands down, my ultimate guilty pleasure is technology.  And I know you guys all understand!

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Things I've Learned Over The Last Few Days

Things I've learned over the last few days....

1. My husband is a multi-tasking master and amazing.

Okay....in all fairness, I've always known this.  But it always amazes me the extent of that statement!  Take for example our recent quick trip to Kelowna/Penticton.  Now, I went for work.  He came JUST TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS SO I COULD WORK.  Seriously.  So off I go at 7:30am....leaving him and the 2 younger boys in a hotel room (one under the age of 2), to pack up and check out and entertain themselves and get to Penticton and re-check in and unpack and entertain themselves.  Now this is an undertaking that I would have failed miserably.  First off, just attempting ANY of this with Kohen and Lennon is amazing, maybe a bit stupid, but amazing.  And he managed to pull it all off.  They went to the pool swimming, went to ToysRUs, went out for lunch, drove to Penticton and travelled around there....re-checked into our new hotel and was there to pick me up from class right on time.  I get into the car and both boys are wearing new outfits (he took them CLOTHES SHOPPING!) and looking soooo sweet in their new plaid shirts.  They are all smiling, and relaxed and happy.  Now, let's pretend for a second that him and I had changed places and he was working all day while I had the kids and was attempting to get around Kelowna etc.....when I picked him up, I would have been a disaster.  Like seriously.  I would have been crabby and probably crying, let's not kid ourselves.  The kids would have been filthy and hungry and tired and crabby.  We all would have hated every second of the trip and I probably would have ran something over or got lost or forgot our suitcases or something!!  Not to say that I couldn't cope with the kids.....or do things with my kids....but seriously, this was a HUGE day and a HUGE task!  I also know our limits and accept them when it comes to me and the kids.  And I'm a pretty put-together kind of gal, in my own way.  But it never would have worked out for me, nor would I have attempted it on my own!  So there again, amazing and multi-tasking.


Matching Plaid Shirts

2. I like BC wine (well, can appreciate it more anyways).

So here's the breakdown.  I'm a wine snob.  Legit.  Also, I've tried a fair number of BC wines and have hated them all.  The only BC wines that I've tried and enjoyed were all very expensive, because I'm a wine snob.  I don't know what exactly I dislike about most BC wines I've tried.....they're like....green tasting or something.  You know when wine gets that almost carbonated feel to the tongue?  Ya, like that!  But I've been trying to branch out more and have tried a few more types and brands and actually have found a couple new ones I enjoy!!  And I'm eager to try more!!



3. People are horrible.

Now....this is a very general statement.  And not ALL people of course are horrible.  But I witnessed some horrible people this weekend and it made me sick to my stomach, and sad for people in general.  Driving through Kelowna....just about over the bridge to west Kelowna and at the last intersection at the bottom.....a guy riding his bike across the intersection gets hit by a car.  Now, I didn't actually see the hit....but the guy I was driving with did.  What I saw was a man laying on his back, spread eagle and completely still.  I actually believed him to be dead (he's not thankfully!) because of how he looked!  The driver I was with passes me his cell phone and says "DIAL 911" so I do.  Now we're stuck in like 3 lanes of traffic moving quickly, so it's not easy for us to stop.  There is however many many many cars and people and business around where this man is laying.  So as we drive past I keep looking out the window to see what's going on and NOBODY is getting out to help him!  Cars are driving by.  People at the gas station next to him are pumping gas.  Nobody has rushed over to see if he's okay.  He's still laying there.  Still as can be.  We pass 2 ambulances heading his way so I relax that at least someone will help out.  Once home, I google the accident to see the outcome and the man had major head trauma and the driver that hit him LEFT THE SCENE!  Hit and run.  A person.  They drove away, leaving him laying on the road.  What.  The.  Fuck.

4.  Moons over my Hammy

So we don't have a Dennys here so I'm not really going to apologize for this mix up, but I felt it was worth sharing.  We go to Dennys in Penticton for breakfast.  I order the "moons over my hammy please" and my husband cracks a joke about it.  I'm confused.

Barry - "Good thing you ordered it that way, or you might have gotten something totally different!"

-him and waitress share a laugh-

Me - "ha ha...uhh....ha.  So how long were you saving that joke"? Why is he saying it like this?  Is he talking about the moons part?  Like mooning someone?  Bums?  Why is this a joke??

Barry - "I bet they won't bring it to you unless you say it that way! They'd be all 'um..moons over what?'"

Me -   "Uhh...ya...I bet."  Still don't get it.....what is he saying....this isn't funny!

So we continue to eat.....and all of a sudden.....a light bulb goes off.  I burst out laughing sooo hard, and am actually crying at the same time (remember my mixed up emotions from puppy posting...sometimes instead of laughing, I cry).  Barry wants to know what I'm laughing about.  I don't want to share.  I try and choke back my laughter.  He pesters me more.....so I finally cave. 

"I didn't know moons over my hammy was moons over MIAMI!"

He looks at me like I've grown another head and bursts out laughing too!  Seriously though, I still don't really get it.  I mean, is it a song reference?  What's up with the moons over Miami?? Okay so apparently it's a movie.  But why is it a sandwich at Dennys??


Moons over My Hammy
 
 
So I've learned a few new things....good for me!  I'll never order another moons over my hammy though.  It's creepy and cut the heck out of the roof of my mouth!  Why do people eat those?!?


Friday, 10 June 2011

Awkward and I don't condone the running over of puppies.

So.....I think there is something wrong with me.  Like wrong with me!  I mean, pretty much, I'm a decent person.  I like stuff, and am nice mostly and say mean things only under my breath, mostly.  And I don't try to hurt people, or things and I don't enjoy when other people hurt people, or things.  Nice person, right?  So also, sometimes when I get nervous, or stressed, I giggle.  In really awkward and inappropriate times.  And the worst part about this is- it's usually odd enough to get someone else to giggle, and then you're in trouble.  And it's not that I'm giggling or laughing because it's funny, like funny ha-ha, but because it's just the way my emotional reaction has decided to come out in that form.  I remember this one time, at a funeral....not like a sad funeral but like a funeral of someone very very old who was very very sick and it really was a bit of a blessing that they had finally moved on.  Well, of course it was sad, but it wasn't like tragic?  Okay, now this example isn't even my example that I had planned to talk about in setting myself up for wrong-ness......but the more I write, the more scared I get!  Who talks about a non-sad funeral???  Did someone die?  Isn't that sad?  Get a hold of yourself Shannon!!!!  Anyways....my point was, as we were sitting there, off to the side in the family section at the funeral....

k wait.....now you're all "family section" and "not sad" funeral in the same story?  She's effed.

......and we were feeling very stressed about the situation.  And it was one of those Russian funerals where the singers all come out and sing and sing and sing for EVER and everyone is crying....well, not everyone cause also, at the Russian funerals, you have those who just come out for the social aspect.  Yes, I know that sounds kind of odd....but it's like a communal support group!  ANYWAYS......my dad and I realize that we are sitting in such a spot where we can see directly up the dead persons nose.  Like DIRECT.  And she had a fairly large nose....with fairly large nostrils.  And it's like a black void space....and what do they do with your nose insides?  And now we're whispering "what's up there?" and trying to hide giggles as sobs.....and yes, we're horrible people......but you laughed too thinking of it and now so are you.  But when you're just stressed like that....and your emotion doesn't know WHAT to do....sometimes this is the easiest way to get it out.  Highly frowned upon, but it just happens....and I cried too.....so I'm probably hopefully not going to become a seriel killer.  Right??

This other time......it was Christmas dinner.  And my Baba (Russian grandma) was leading us all in the traditional prayer before supper.  We were all standing, heads bowed and I happened to glance over and catch sight of my sister.  We were like maybe 12 and 10.....okay 15 and 13....okay so maybe it was only a couple years ago but I'm pretty sure we were young.  So I glance at her....and she kind of smirks....so I kind of smirk and quickly look away.  Everyone is still very seriously praying...like to god or whatnot....so I glance again.....and we giggle.  Uh oh.  So the more we try NOT to giggle....we giggle more.  Pretty soon, tears are RUNNING down our cheeks and we're full out laughing.  And we can't stop.  And my dad is yelling at us to be quiet and Baba looks horrified.  All just making the situation worse....and we just CANNOT stop.  So we get sent to our rooms.  At Christmas dinner of all times. 

So yesterday.......I laughed at someone posting that they had run over their puppy.

cue crickets chirping

Okay so see?  Doesn't that sound AWFUL!!!????  But in all fairness, they also said that it wasn't like the entire puppy....but maybe just the leg or paw.  And I really didn't find it funny!!!!  But it was just the way it was written...on their status.  So like matter of fact and out there.  And it was such a long day at work and I didn't eat lunch and our work environment has been a little stressful lately so it just like....came out.  Then once I realized what I had done.....of course I started laughing.  Out of complete embarrassment!  And awkwardness!  But then I couldn't stop.  And pretty soon I had tears running down my face.  And Gill just sat there, across from me, staring with a look of horror wondering if I had truly cracked.  And I swear, at that moment, I had!!!  And every time I'd stop laughing....I'd remember that I laughed at someone running over their puppy and I'd start again.  Oh my god.  I'm going straight to hell!!  So to try and like, I don't know....cover up the horrific nature of my giggle I choked out "One time my dad ran over my bike!" which doesn't really compare....of course, I know that!  Okay, so now I even went and scrolled through days of postings to find out about the puppy cause I felt really badly.....but it's okay!!  Just bruised!  Sooo....if you're reading this, not the puppy but the owner, send me your address....I'd like to send your puppy some get well soon flowers....or dog biscuits or a bone or something. 

So just to sum up.........running over animals is never funny.  And I laughed and feel badly and I think this means that I probably have an alien living inside me who will be busting out at any moment....if I like, feed it after midnight or water it on a full moon or something.  And if I wind up killing a bunch of people, or like maybe one person....or like my ex goes missing or something....you can all tell this story at my trial because it truly proves that I've been sniffing too many chemicals at work and have been probably possessed or something. 

Friday, 3 June 2011

You can teach a horse to drink....wait.....

So yesterday morning started out sadly for me.  Now before I get too far, I need to share that yes, it's that time of the month.  But like, not the beginning of that time when emotions are like crazy rampant, but like...sort of half way into that time of the month.  You know?  Okay, so now that all the men have probably stopped reading......yesterday morning was sad. 

While scrolling through facebook (I bet a many good stories start out this way...) I came across the status update of this lovely girl whom I adore....it basically said she was devastated, but in a much more poetic/heart wrenching way.  Right away I text her "what's going on??"....and yes, in this day and age, I texted her instead of calling first.  Mainly because it wasn't even 8am yet so I don't like to phone people, and also because she has a phone phobia and so we only use it for true emergencies.  Which this probably was......anyways....where the heck was I??  Umm....oh right........so I text her.  She replies and shares that she has had her heart broken.  Again.  By the same douche canoe asshole mother effin disgusting piece of dog crap asshat guy.  So here was my first instinct - get my hackles up and protect those I love.  My second was to try and make her see that it's for the best, of course, that he's off doing what ever else douche canoes guys do. Now the history of this heart break is that he's one of those "bottle of shampoo" type guys.....lather, rinse and repeat.  Okay, so maybe not the first two exactly in that way....but the repeat part.  And he thrives on it.  He's a bit older, and much more...um....I'm going to say "worldly" but this isn't quite the right word cause it makes her sound like a bumpkin.  But, he's just been around more and played the game longer i guess?  So he knows exactly what he's doing.  She's got like that young, first love thing happening....that puppy crush that makes you want to throw yourself from a cliff every time it happens, but never hesitate to go back and relive all the drama time and time again. 

Fuck you couldn't pay me to go back to those years!!!!  And yes, we all have to go through this.  But I always think like, if I could share my wisdom with you (ha! wisdom!) then it could be like that saying "If I knew now what I knew then" cause, you would know now what you knew then, cause I just told you!!  But I've now come to the conclusion that even if you could know now what you knew then....it wouldn't do a damn bit of good.  We have to live through these things....these experiences that make us who we are...I guess.  And it sucks.  Especially when you are watching someone you love go through them and you just want to say STOP, spoil the ending, and move on over a nice glass of wine. 

So I was a bit more forceful this time (remember, shampoo type guy).  And I hope it didn't offend but I really questioned why she kept going back for more?  Why he could be so verbally and emotional cruel to her and yet, she would always go back and always let him do it again.  I told her how much we loved her and how I wished she loved herself.  I pointed out the hate she had for other boys who had done similar things to those SHE loved....and why couldn't she value herself enough to be as worthy as them??  I was in tears, fighting for all the things that made her so amazing, that she gave to him to crush and break over and over again.  I just wanted her to feel her worth.....to see that she was amazing....to see what he was doing to her.  Like drug addicts.....you just see the good.  The few measly times it makes you feel good, you hang onto that and magnify it so it becomes the reality.  I sobbed at her "sorry" and realized I was making her feel badly....when I was trying to do just the exact opposite.  "Bull shit!" I told her....no sorry here, just love yourself and get mad!!!  Get mad at all of it!  Get mad, and remember it!  Get mad and take yourself back! 

I asked Barry's opinion....what do I say!?!  I want her to realize that she's awesome and he's a loser.  And the ever wise Barry says......

"And she's got years to go.  You can't be mad!  Just let her know you understand....you can lead a horse to water but you can't hold it's head under and say "right here TONTO!"
And of course, he's right.  Except for the Tonto part....cause I actually think that was the faithful Indian companion....which is now making that advice sound really not right....or good......but if you take the rest of that advice...it's basically good, solid advice.  And I am here for her....and I know she knows that.  And if I ever run into that guy, I'll break his nose so bad......but if for some strange reason, you hear of like this guy getting his nose very badly broken and they don't know why or who, just forget you ever read this...ok??  And also his car gets set on fire, ya, then just forget I said anything.  Oh?  I didn't mention that part?  Well good then, and I won't.  Soooo........................a sad morning.  And i've been notified today that now she's mad.  So that's a good sign.  It's moving through the stages of grief, and maybe one of these trips back up from the bottom will be the last trip......because she bloody well deserves to move up and stay up.  And i'm there for her, and I've been there myself.....we all have.....and it still sucks.