Why did I have so many boys?

Oh hi there!  Yeah yeah yeah....it's been a while since I've written anything.  And it's been killing me, honest!!  But there is just NOT enough hours in the day for me to do everything I want, and some nights, the couch and a glass of wine kidnap me and render me helpless to do anything but try not to spill when I nod off.  So I thought I'd do a little kid update, because usually this is the first question people ask me......following close second is "are you getting younger?  you sure look like it!" and rounding up third is probably "what's your secret to being so amazing?" but first is usually about the kids.  My colourful classy kids!  So here goes...........

Kohen - Okay so no, I'm not going in order.  Well maybe I am....but it's not the order one would assume.  I'm starting with the kid who probably has the most to update on.  Why?  Because he's a train wreck, that's why.  So here goes.  Kohen, Kohen, Kohen.  Had our first teacher requested meeting a couple week ago.  Now most parents would be upset and shaking their heads about such a meeting but Barry and I were high fiving in the parking lot of the school that we made it 6 whole weeks into this year before such a request was made!  That's good time in Kohen's world!  He's also been to the principals office more times then we hear about I'm sure....and honestly, I never really know if it's because he is in trouble that much, or if he likes to hang out with Leanne the principal because she is gorgeous and sweet.  That boy does have a thing for blondes.  So apparently Kohen has been having a hard time with the new school....between that and the new sitter....and new teachers....and new friends....he's a bit of a disaster.  He's picked up some new language and is using it at every chance he gets (don't even say it!  You may think it but if one of you suggests the language comes from me then I will find you and fuck you up...I mean.....explain to you that it probably does not)...he's also made a couple new friends and one of them has language that makes even me blush so let's all blame the 7 year old.  He was grounded from his bike this summer too from a time when he rode it with Nicole and I while we ran......apparently the game is "see how close I can get to the white line on the road and stick my foot over the white line on the road whenever a car passes".  Neat hey?  So after Nicole yelled at him 294 times to get away from the white line and I yelled at him 28472 times, he continued choosing to not listen and rode right up and over the line and almost got creamed by a truck.  Bye bye bike!!  But it hasn't all been bad......the majority of weeks at school he does get at least equal "happy face to sad face" ratio from his teacher.  He also is doing really amazing in hockey this year and having a blast!  And he's befriended half the kids at the trailer park and is turning into some kind of creepy leader and I'm pretty sure they're building a space ship in my basement, he's also started making a lot of kool aid................no?  Too far? 

Gavin - Ah our new teenager.  What is it with 13 year old boys and BAM smelling like ass all the time?  Where's my sweet smelling baby??  I guess if he changed his clothes every now and again.....also, what's with that???  At least change the socks kid!  Gavin has now started at the high school...which I was terrified about....but he seems to really honestly enjoy it.  I think he really likes the bit of freedom and independence.  He was all excited he could walk to subway on his lunch....or him and The Geek Squad his friends walk to someones house at lunch hour....probably to geek out to some video games or something.  He still has his girlfriend....but we don't hear much about that....and I'm kind of okay with that!  He's getting really great grades in school....probably helps that every teacher he has is either a client of mine, or I know personally....so he was read the riot act upon starting school to be awesome or else I'd find out!  But I have a feeling this is the wrong kid to worry about.  He's such a funny guy....this year for Halloween he wanted to be a "bed sheet ghost"....so he leaves it till the very last minute (surprise surprise)...and then relies on his dad to go and buy him a white sheet from the thrift store....no wait, first he wanted to start cutting up my sheets and then when I said no, wondered aloud if Nana would let him cut up hers.  So in the end Kev goes to the thrift store and buys this like......cream colored table cloth material scrap of fabric....you know the type of table cloth material that like has that sheen to it?  Like silky almost?  And the fabric is so small that this thing barely covers him.  He was stoked on it, even though he looked like such a tool.  And for the first year, he chose to go out with his friends and not us.  We dropped him off downtown and picked him up a few hours later.  I worried that maybe they'd be screwing around and not trick or treating...which is probably what I would have done if it was me at his age...but no, he came home with the biggest bag of candy ever!  So it's safe to say they were actually going door to door.

Lenny - This kid has become a real jokester.  He's picking up words galore and using them every chance he gets....such beautiful catch phrases like "look here stupid!" and "Aaaaahhhh she's/he's/it's/we're/you/re DEAD!" and "Kohen!  You're a poo poo head!" so that's all been real fun and cute.  Honestly though, he's a really funny kid.  He's still pretty easy going and has started preschool this year.  Side note....one kid starting high school while one is starting preschool....boy we really didn't think that one through.  Where was I?  Oh right....preschool.  He LOVES school!  And most days I can find him standing by the front door in his pj's with his pink princess backpack on yelling "I'M GOING TO SCHOOL STUPID!" even if it's not a school day.  Such a little rascal!  He's in the same class as his older cousin Ethan and that's been a really cool thing to see the difference in them.  Ethan isn't a very big guy, but he's smart like Stewie and loves his music.  Now Lenny is a big ol'truck....smart like ummm...white bread?  If I could imagine what kind of smarts white bread would have....it would be like....simple smarts?  Yeah, white bread...what you see is what you get.  Not a ton of nutrition but it won't kill you to live off of?  Hmm....this analogy is a tough one this morning.  Moving on...............let's just say the kid can't count to 5 yet.  Well, I mean he can....hold up 5 fingers and he'll tell you "Oooonnnnneee.....twooooo......threeeeee......six, seven, nine!" and there you have it!  But I mean, at 3.5 years of age, who needs to know how to count to 5 right?  Another good example of the differences between him and his cousin......one day at school they had to glue pieces of colored macaroni pasta onto a piece of paper.  Now Ethan must have glued 294784628 onto his....the paper was bowing in the middle, strained under the weight of glue/pasta...you could hardly even see the paper underneath for all the intricately placed macaroni so that he could fit the maximum amount on there with them all just fitting into the curves of the other juuuuuust so, it must have taken him allllllll class to do......now Lenny came running out with his macaroni art paper.....there were literally 4 pieces of macaroni glued onto the giant sheet of paper.  Four.  I think that pretty much sums it all up.

So there you have a quick update of 3 of the 4 of my boys.  As for the other one and myself....yep, we're doing alright.  Busy and hectic and Barry is just waiting for me to go to Vancouver so he can put up the Christmas lights in peace without me yelling at him about being careful on the ladder.  It's for your own safety Barry!  YOUR SAFETY!!

My Baby...yes I'll call you that till I die, get over it.

So today my baby is off to high school.  Even typing those letters causes my stomach to knot up and a lump to work it's way into my throat.  Yes, Gavin is now officially a teenager and going to high school.  How the fuck did that happen?  I mean, seriously??!!  Excuse the language so early in the morning but I think when one of your spawns that you expelled through your loins....forever leaving things in such a way that they never return from.....decides to become a fucking teenager and go off to high school....well, such language is a fucking must.  I want to say it just seems like yesterday and he was a baby....but it didn't really.  Things have been pretty busy since then.  But he's kind of been in a perpetual state of like, 8 or 9 to me.  Gavin was always a super bright, funny kid.  Right from the get go, we knew he had brains.  His dad would come home from work and get out a notebook and mark down all the new things Gavin was doing....his little brag book...asking all the while "do you think other kids are doing this yet?  Probably just Gavin!" to which I'd nod politely and agree....mostly because his dad was a bit of an egotistical moron at times (love you Kev) and it was just easier to agree, but I did know that Gavin was going to really be something special.  And yes, of course all parents say that about their kids, is what you are thinking right now.   But no!  No, that's not true.  Take Lenny for example....our third baby boy....I am the first person to admit that that kid isn't the brightest light in the room!  Now now, don't get all up in a huff!  I can hear my sister now "Shannnnnnnnon!", but it's true.  I mean, this kid has more personality then any grown person I've met, never mind 2 almost 3 year old, but sheesh, he's lacking a bit in the smarts.  Take for example, gravity.  Yes, a little difficult to figure out?  Gravity is forever Lenny's worst enemy.  He regularly throws things up into the air, hard as can be.....metal things, trucks, books, toys......only to watch them fall right back down again and smash into his face.  Note the word "regularly"....and he's just as shocked and surprised every time that this item has caused him pain.  Yet, one day in the not so far away future, he will do it again...and again.  And maybe by the time he's 5, he will learn NOT to do it....but we'll see!  Just like flapping his little arms....Lenny, it doesn't matter how hard you flap those suckers, they will not carry you from your perch on the coffee table to the couch when you launch yourself towards it face first. Then there's our middle kid, brains galore!  Yet, we only get glimpses of the genius inside....usually sandwiched between two demonic acts.....hey mom!  Sacrificed the neighbours cat!  Oh and I figured out how to read Latin.......DROVE THE CAR INTO THE POOL!!!  So we don't always notice his smarts so much.  But Gavin and I have always had a bit of a "different" relationship, and I think it's because it was just him and I for a bit after me and his dad split up.  That mixed with the fact that even at 2 years of age, I could sit and hold a completely intellectual conversation with him.  I had a friend comment one time that we're more like siblings sometimes, which I suppose is probably true.  I trust him and know that he's developing into a decent, lovely, polite, smart human being.  So high school shouldn't be so scary. For the others, I pushed three boys into this world, the least I can do is hope for two of them to become decent men.....right?  I mean, I'm sure Kohen will get his fair share of fan mail from those creeper women who love writing letters to prison inmates!  Haha kidding (?)!

A Father's Day post for The Bass Player

It's only fitting that today I blog about my dad.  Yes, it's Fathers Day, and also, he gave me my name....The Bass Player's Daughter.  It's the name of my salon and anything else I do these days....my identity.  I thought I'd share some of my "fondest" Bass Player memories.....but first, a quick description of my dad.  Now, my dad is a bit of a mish mash of things.  He's amazingly funny, personable and outgoing.  People meet him and instantly want to be his friend and he makes friends with anyone and everyone, remembering their names, loaning them money or buying them a beer.  He's a very talented musician and adores time spent in his studio working on a song.  At the same time, my dad is also quick to temper and a bit of a hot head.  He'll go out and charm the pants off anyone, but will come home exhausted from being so social all the time and stick us with a miserable grump.  All though these days, we can usually get him out of that grump status because we're not scared of him anymore, now that we're adults.  My dad is also comparable to a 15 year old child....a bit of a spoiled rotten brat who sometimes forgets he's not the centre of the universe.  Now, anyone who knows me, or reads my blog knows that I'm only comfortable saying these things about him because I share most of these same traits....minus the musician part but these traits I can pick out in myself and therefore feel I'm allowed to pick them out in him too.  Growing up with my dad was interesting.  He played in a band and was gone many nights a week.....he also had a day job and then had to nap in there somewhere so we didn't spend a ton of time with him growing up.  Lucky for us, and him, we have an amazing lady at the head of our household who was always patient and kind and gave up her entire life for us to make sure we got the best childhood possible.  Sometimes we share stories now and wonder how in the world did we all make it through those years together....but here we all are, still in love with each other and friends and able to spend many evenings together and enjoy it.  So a few of my favourite Dad stories....we enjoy telling these over dinner, knowing it pisses my dad off....he can be a bit embarrassed by his quick temper while we were growing up but it left us with some great conversation starters.

Okay so I was maybe 10?  We were eating dinner.  Ketchup came in glass bottles and was forever getting stuck and not pouring out.  I was trying to shake the bottle upside down over my plate to get the ketchup out and was getting a bit wild with it.  It kept hitting my plate "ding....ding....ding....DING...DING..DING DINGDINGDINGDING..." and finally my Dad (who worked basically two jobs and didn't sleep much remember?) SNAPPED, as he was famous for doing and go figure with 3 kids all within 5 years apart.  He stood up and literally grabbed the bottle out of my hand and violently started shaking it as hard as he could up and down in a HUGE exaggerated motion...all the while yelling "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU GET THE KETCHUP OUT!  THIS IS HOW YOU GET THE KETCHUP OUT!" and ketchup was flyyyyyyyying all over me, the table, the floor (carpet in the kitchen back in those days) until he finally smashed the bottle down on the table and stormed off.  We all sat in silence for a few minutes...shocked at his outburst until someone must have caught a glimpse of me, covered in ketchup and started giggling.  Well that was it, we all roared with laughter......and were careful never to bang the bottle on our plates again.

It's Christmas....the most wonderful time of the year.  Us kids are fairly young and hopped right the fuck up with Christmas spirit and sugar and presents and Santa and are hyper beyond belief.  We're vibrating trying to decorate the tree, which is always a headache of an occasion.  First my dad has to get the thing in the stand....and that's usually accompanied by tons of swearing at the stand and it's crooked and my mom lovingly suggesting we turn the tree to a less bare spot and my dad whipping this thing around until finally we all just agree with him, sharing silent glances, knowing we'll spin it while he's at work.  Then my dad gets the joyous job of putting up the xmas tree lights....which are all bundled in a messy ball from where he got pissed off and just randomly shoved them into garbage bags the year before...then plugging them in and trying to find the one burnt out bulb that's making the entire string dark and my mother lovingly suggesting he "scallop" the lights a little more and not skimp in the back where the neighbours can see through the window.  By the time this is all done, my dad needs a good stiff drink and he's snapping at all us kids, who are completely underfoot and annoying.  Then we have to be patient while my mom puts the garland on juuuuust so before we're let loose with Christmas ornaments and allowed to decorate the tree.  This all takes a gooood long time and by the end of it we're all grumpy and fighting but OH doesn't the tree look gorgeous!  We turn out the lights and sit around the glowing Christmas tree drinking egg nog and listening to Christmas music.  This one year we had done the tree and I had gone to my room to do something else when I heard screaming and came running out.  Somehow our tree had fallen over....after all that work decorating it!  Our beautiful tree was laying in our living room, the stand spilling water all over our carpet and my siblings all crying.  My dad by that point, had had it.  He ran in the living room and flung open the door to the outside front yard.....he marched over to the tree, picked it up and hauled it like a twig to the door and THREW it on the front snow covered yard....which wouldn't have been soooo bad but at the same time he yelled "MERRRRRRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS" for all our neighbours to hear.  The poor guy spun around, slammed the door and was met with three kids standing there sobbing over our Christmas tree and the shock of hearing him say such things.  The next day the tree was back up, with a stand full of rocks, and we never let him forget it.

So that's a couple of my favourite Phil stories.....at the same time, we also have great memories and laugh till our sides hurt thanks to him...like the time he rode Kohens hot wheels jeep home with his knees up at his ears and his feet on the hood all down Broadwater Road.  Or the time Lenny handed my dad the inside part of his little training potty, complete with a giant turd in it to show off his accomplishment...and my poor dad didn't catch on quick enough and grabbed the pot and had a good long look at it before looking up at me and my mom in all seriousness and asking "is this shit?" causing us to fall out of our chairs in laughter.  I think we could all get together and share stories of my dad and probably write a best selling book because I know many people would have things to contribute, good maybe, bad maybe and I bet a heck of a lot that we've never even heard about.  If you run into my dad one day, be sure to ask him about the pot brownies at work, that's another story that's quite hilarious, but I'll leave that one to him.  Happy Fathers Day ya asshole...I love you.

Some of the Texts you'll find on my phone at any given time....

I've posted one of these before.....but it's time again.  I've had so many funny text messages lately that I have to share!  These messages make me literally LOL and I really think you guys are all so amazingly clever!  Warning....bad language!!!  No names shared but here's a few of my recent favorites....

"Okay well apparently *** didn't do anything towards dinner for tonight so the pork isn't marinating and it's too late to start now so any ideas?"
"Ohhh, I could have come and helped! Could do the hot pepper jelly thing?"
"Or he could have just fucking done it.  I told him it had to marinate.  I'm so mad"
"Maybe we should have lobster and pasta"
"*** doesn't like lobster.  He can have a fucking hot dog."

"I'm a mean, abusive person.  To my liver I mean."
"ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I feel great this morning.  Go figure...maybe cause I only had 2 sambucas instead of 10"
"Wow.  Math to the rescue again!"

"I know.  I'm smart like that."
"I know.  I made you."
"Thanks mom.  So who's my real dad?"

"Dad won over $1000 at the casino"
"WHAT THE FUCK!!  FLUEVOGS FOR MY BDAY!!"
"Dad says "oh ya, right" in a sarcastic tone"
"SO THAT'S A YES??"
"Ha!"
"I knew I was his favorite"

"I'm giving it to you for your birthday ;-)"
"That AND fluevogs?  Oh honey you spoil me!!"
"Message send failure"
"Mmhmm"
"Check head for loose screws"

"Hows the coffee??"
"GROSS.  I liked your cup.  And I was eating peanut butter"
"ewww"
"Crisp? Haha"
"Haha you're still drunk"

"How's your mother in law to be doing?  haha I MAKE JOKE!"
"Hahaha I punch your face next time I see you"

"Are you pooping?!"
"Yes!  When else do you creep facebook relationship statuses?"
"Haha well personally I tumbl"
"I tumbl for ya"

"Umm I did my hair and makeup and ate a hotdog"
"Hahaha!  Your day wins!"
"Haha oh and tried vodka and tang.  Not good"
"Ewww"
"I ran out of everything else for mix. And I nearly puked but I didn't want to waste so I drank it"
"Ha!  Such a good little girl scout!"

"I have to look my best at all times"
"Never know when you'll have a man visitor and need to woo them"
"True story.  Happens all the time...."
"Hahah"
"I mean, they're all under the age of 12 but never too young for a good old fashioned wooing"
"Theyre 12, you look 12, nothin illegal here"

"Kohen just bounced the ball off the coaches head"
"OMFG"
"It's actually a good thing.  His aim is spot on!"

"Stop my keys"
"Coming Bach haha"
"In the cup holder.  Beethoven"

"I want something good for dinner."
"Beans and wieners?"

"Bob Loblaw's Law Blog?"
"WHAT?!"
"Hahahaha"
"No seriously.  Huh?"

"Will you make sure that the maximum amount of animals have to die in the making of my jambalaya?"
"Sure will!!  I'll even throw a couple endangered species!"
"Killer whale for all!  I'm pretty sure that's a law."
"And hopefully the neighbours won't notice their missing cats."
"On your birthday you can kill any animal"

"Wfh  (working from home).  I'm starting that."
"I'm wfw"
"haha"
"Not starting that."
"Too late."

"What are you guys up to?"
"Smoking pot and drinking jack daniels all while we wait for the hooker to get here next"
"Oh good.  Life lessons."
"I figured we might as well get them all over at once"

"Hey loser.  I'm drinking some wine and listening to blue rodeo right now, and although i think your pretty annoying and smelly, I'd sure like to be partaking of those two things with your company"
"We're drinking some wine and listening to The National and I'm pretty sure I don't miss you and you'd hate everything about our deck/view right now"
"Yeah probably, I really prefer the view I have of the four lane road I have in front of my place"
"I'm sure you do.  That way you can imagine yourself laying across it once you finally realize moving away was the biggest mistake of your life and things aren't worth living without me and all my awesomeness"

"We're at the colander right now so the poops should come out extra easy tonight."
"Hahaha that's pretty awesome...do you guys give out dirty needles and band aids in robson at halloween?"
"Actually we're in Trail trick or treating so we'll probably get lead and herpes"

"Hey ya cock gobbler....you coming for dinner still?"
"Only to see if your any uglier then the last time I saw you."

"Hey fucker!!  Merry Christmas asshole!  I also love you for some strange reason so fuck you"
"Because I love you too.  I would have considered marrying you, but then I wouldn't want my life to resemble hell, so I can't.  But I will say merry christmas and I miss you!"

"Getting a new tattoo and was going to get a portrait of your face but when I showed the tattoo artist your picture, he clawed his own eyes out while screaming obscenities so now he's blind and it's all your fault."
"I'm not surprised.  The doctor who delivered me has been in a waking coma since he laid eyes on me, I was the worst he'd ever seen."

"It is 6:35am and I am currently at the GYM.  What.  The.   Fuck. is probably what you are thinking, but such is the power that is my mid life crisis that I will bench press you."
"Ha!  If you tried to bench press me, the weight of my incredible good looks would crush you in a millisecond."

You can teach a horse to drink....wait.....

So yesterday morning started out sadly for me.  Now before I get too far, I need to share that yes, it's that time of the month.  But like, not the beginning of that time when emotions are like crazy rampant, but like...sort of half way into that time of the month.  You know?  Okay, so now that all the men have probably stopped reading......yesterday morning was sad. 

While scrolling through facebook (I bet a many good stories start out this way...) I came across the status update of this lovely girl whom I adore....it basically said she was devastated, but in a much more poetic/heart wrenching way.  Right away I text her "what's going on??"....and yes, in this day and age, I texted her instead of calling first.  Mainly because it wasn't even 8am yet so I don't like to phone people, and also because she has a phone phobia and so we only use it for true emergencies.  Which this probably was......anyways....where the heck was I??  Umm....oh right........so I text her.  She replies and shares that she has had her heart broken.  Again.  By the same douche canoe asshole mother effin disgusting piece of dog crap asshat guy.  So here was my first instinct - get my hackles up and protect those I love.  My second was to try and make her see that it's for the best, of course, that he's off doing what ever else douche canoes guys do. Now the history of this heart break is that he's one of those "bottle of shampoo" type guys.....lather, rinse and repeat.  Okay, so maybe not the first two exactly in that way....but the repeat part.  And he thrives on it.  He's a bit older, and much more...um....I'm going to say "worldly" but this isn't quite the right word cause it makes her sound like a bumpkin.  But, he's just been around more and played the game longer i guess?  So he knows exactly what he's doing.  She's got like that young, first love thing happening....that puppy crush that makes you want to throw yourself from a cliff every time it happens, but never hesitate to go back and relive all the drama time and time again. 

Fuck you couldn't pay me to go back to those years!!!!  And yes, we all have to go through this.  But I always think like, if I could share my wisdom with you (ha! wisdom!) then it could be like that saying "If I knew now what I knew then" cause, you would know now what you knew then, cause I just told you!!  But I've now come to the conclusion that even if you could know now what you knew then....it wouldn't do a damn bit of good.  We have to live through these things....these experiences that make us who we are...I guess.  And it sucks.  Especially when you are watching someone you love go through them and you just want to say STOP, spoil the ending, and move on over a nice glass of wine. 

So I was a bit more forceful this time (remember, shampoo type guy).  And I hope it didn't offend but I really questioned why she kept going back for more?  Why he could be so verbally and emotional cruel to her and yet, she would always go back and always let him do it again.  I told her how much we loved her and how I wished she loved herself.  I pointed out the hate she had for other boys who had done similar things to those SHE loved....and why couldn't she value herself enough to be as worthy as them??  I was in tears, fighting for all the things that made her so amazing, that she gave to him to crush and break over and over again.  I just wanted her to feel her worth.....to see that she was amazing....to see what he was doing to her.  Like drug addicts.....you just see the good.  The few measly times it makes you feel good, you hang onto that and magnify it so it becomes the reality.  I sobbed at her "sorry" and realized I was making her feel badly....when I was trying to do just the exact opposite.  "Bull shit!" I told her....no sorry here, just love yourself and get mad!!!  Get mad at all of it!  Get mad, and remember it!  Get mad and take yourself back! 

I asked Barry's opinion....what do I say!?!  I want her to realize that she's awesome and he's a loser.  And the ever wise Barry says......

"And she's got years to go.  You can't be mad!  Just let her know you understand....you can lead a horse to water but you can't hold it's head under and say "right here TONTO!"

And of course, he's right.  Except for the Tonto part....cause I actually think that was the faithful Indian companion....which is now making that advice sound really not right....or good......but if you take the rest of that advice...it's basically good, solid advice.  And I am here for her....and I know she knows that.  And if I ever run into that guy, I'll break his nose so bad......but if for some strange reason, you hear of like this guy getting his nose very badly broken and they don't know why or who, just forget you ever read this...ok??  And also his car gets set on fire, ya, then just forget I said anything.  Oh?  I didn't mention that part?  Well good then, and I won't.  Soooo........................a sad morning.  And i've been notified today that now she's mad.  So that's a good sign.  It's moving through the stages of grief, and maybe one of these trips back up from the bottom will be the last trip......because she bloody well deserves to move up and stay up.  And i'm there for her, and I've been there myself.....we all have.....and it still sucks. 

Crazy Family

Things I love about my family......

1. We all are truly "there" for each other.
2. We all find the same things funny, even when they are non-funny (ex, teabagging, my moms inability to remember any birthdays, things my dad did when we were kids, Modern Family).
3. We genuinely want to hang out with one another.
4. We know each others darkest secrets and neurotic behaviours and use that information in appropriate ways.
5. If someone is hurting one of us, or treating one of us unfairly, we all feel the injustice and gain up together to talk smack about them, or debate the unfairness of it in very intelligent conversation.
6. We are very non-traditional....which leads me toooo......

MEXICAN EASTER!!!  So every year for Easter, we always go out to the lake and play bocce, horseshoes, drink beer, cook hot dogs over a fire and let the kids play in the dirt.  It's a great way to spend a traditional religious holiday, when you are neither traditional, nor religious.  Some years we have 40 people show up, some years it's 10 of us. But we try and go (weather permitting) every year.  This year was a bit of mash up and half my family couldn't make it out to the lake.  We also had an enormous hankering for nachos with the girls from work, so we decided nothing says "Happy Easter" like drunken Mexicans! And of course by drunken Mexicans, I mean us, getting drunk and eating Mexican food!!  So of course my parents were on board (remember why I love them?) and we organized a Fiesta!!  Gillian brought sombreros and stick on mustaches and nacho fixings (if Cheech and Chong taught us anything, it's you NEED a good mustache!), Mom brought tequila and limes and I brought tortillas and fajitas and other good things to eat ending in ahs.  We sat in the sun and drank amazing margaritas wearing our get ups...listening to Gypsy Kings on full blast and every once in a while someone would yell "AYE AY AY AY AYYYYEEEE!!" or bust out in a Mexican hat dance or samba inspired move.  Lots of laughs!  We sat around the table after moaning about how full we were, still wearing sombreros, but not mustaches because they are really hard to eat in!

And this is yet another reason why I love my family.  They would take part in an event like this without a blink of an eye and everyone would have a good time!

My Mom and Dad

My Husband and Mom

My Dad "Pedro"

Gill and Me....Ole!

Another Year Older

Annnnnnnnnnnd just like that.....i'm another year older.  This year though, involved alot of planning!!  The girls from work and I planned an entire day of birthday extravaganza!  It really had been a long time since I had a real birthday party, mostly because of my 294772 children.  So this year, we decided on a theme first off.  Originally, I wanted "Leather Lace and Latex" but then we thought that's basically LADY GAGA so that was our theme!  Then we decided we should get tattoos for my birthday as well, so we booked that.  THEN some friends were having their birthday party on the same day so we combined efforts!  Basically, my lovely day went like this....

-Woke up by 6:30am to crying baby
-Out the door for a run/walk by 7:30am
-Gals from work showed up with Subway lunch and a GAZILLION GIANT trays of homemade cinnamon buns!!!!  Keeping with the theme, they had sayings iced into them such as "don't be a drag, just be a queen!"
-Stuff our faces and all pile into Rhonda (the station wagon) and we're off!!!
-Tattoo shop and we sit and go over design etc with tattoo artist....I get to go first!
-Prep and tattoo.....AND OW HOLY CRAP DOES INNER BICEP TATTOOS HURT!!!!  MOTHER OF PEARL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Finish mine and watch G get hers!
-And we're off again!  Couple of pit stops along the way but we get back home where my mom is cooking a giant pan of chicken Mole.....YUUUMMMMMMM!!!!!  Her specialty!!
-Family all shows up, we squish around the table and DIG IN!!!  Also, we go through many, many bottles of wine!
-Birthday cake done and it's time to GET GAGA!  My mom does my makeup while the girls do theirs.  Yes.  Okay, they are talented, and I still need my mom.  I'm 32 for fuck sake.
-Time for costumes!!!!!!!!  I get dressed for the first time in my costume and all of a sudden it hits me....HOLY CRAP I'M NOT WEARING PANTS AND I'M GOING OUT OF THE HOUSE.  How does Lady Gaga do it all the time????  I'm feeling a bit awkward and naked wearing basically a PVC bodysuit, fishnet type stockings and PVC spike heel boots.  Annnnnd that's about all i'm wearing.  Naked right??
-Out we go to the other birthday party house!  Drink some more wine to help forget about my lack of pants, do some schmoooozing and we're off to dancey dance at the Element!
-DANCEY DANCE our butts off!  I still have the blisters to prove it!  Everyone has a good time and we stay till close, which is a miracle for us!  We're normally in bed by 10pm.
-Now here's the bad part of the night.  We try and phone a cab.  In Castlegar.  Basically, IMPOSSIBLE!  We have one cab in this town.  So we end up sitting outside the Element waiting for a cab for 1.5 hours.  Remember, I HAVE NO PANTS ON.  G is even worse off!  She has no pants, or shirt.  We freeze and are miserable.  What a way to end a good night!!
-Finally home and in bed by 4am.  Get to sleep and thankfully everyone sleeps in till almost 8am the next morning! 

I got off with a very minimal hang over!  Mostly just tired, but it was enough to remind me of why we don't do this anymore!  I've decided I can wear no pants and be okay with it, all though, it might not fly at work.  I also remembered what an amazing group of gals that I work with and hang with and I'm super lucky to have them as my friends!  I also have an amazing family (which I knew already!!) and this years birthday was a smashing success!!!