It's all for the ass in the end.

Oh hi there!  It's been awhile!  I started my other blog, and completely forgot about this blog.....this one where I share the insides of me, not the outsides like my other blog.  Truthfully, this is the scarier blog to write because I tend to have an issue "over sharing" sometimes.....but that's why I enjoy this venue to share!!  Today I want to share with you a little secret.  I'm off the scale.  I don't know if anyone remembers my obsession with the scale.  That horrible thing in my bathroom that called me to step on it two, three, four times a day....never changing much, but giving me a number that I could tuck away in my brain and process and over analyse.  But, I've started going to the gym....which you'd think would make me more apt to standing on the scale but it's been the opposite.  I ADORE the gym!  And I've totally ditched the scale. Crazy hey?  It's been making this winter bearable....the darkness okay....the early cozy nights pleasant and my moods more stable then they have been in a long time (or at least I think so...my husband might disagree).  I'm pissed at myself that I didn't figure out this whole physical activity thing and winter and moods sooner!  But here I am, three days a week at the gym with my gym buddy Nicole.  It's been blissful.  I've seen a bit of a transformation, nothing drastic....which is okay!  I'm not in it to really change....more just to feel good.  Which I do.  My arms have a bit more definition, my legs are gonna look nice in shorts and I have energy and stamina and feel strong.  Now I don't know if everyone has taken to my gym routine as pleasantly as I have.  It's been hard on the rest of the family.  Mostly because those three days a week are typically after I finish work so I get home that bit later and dinner is that bit later and my husband is picking up more of the slack.  I get twinges of guilt....when I come home and everyone is miserable and I'm on a total high from the physical exertion.  And I keep telling myself I'm going to be more organised in meal planning and crock potting and try to keep it as non disruptive as I can, but it's hard.  The three kids and the business suck so much out of me to begin with....but I need this.  And I want to feel good about myself....and a nicer, tighter ass doesn't hurt anything either right??