Tuesday, 29 March 2011
So....there's this thing I do. It's almost OCD. I have to do it once every morning and if I'm home, I'll do it after every meal. I always do it when I get home from work and then again before bed. I HAVE to step on the scale. UGH! Why???? The thing is.....it's not like I do anything different if I'm unhappy with what the number tells me. It doesn't send me into bouts of starvation, or exercise. It just makes me moody and crabby and depressed. And usually we're talking like 1lb, or a few ounce difference from time to time. All though, from morning to night, it could be upwards of 4lbs or so. Then I just feel gross. It's like an addiction. And i've been off on holidays all week and have gained about 5lbs....which I know isn't alot and please don't say "oh you're fine! you're tiny!" because I know i'm not big....but for that exact same reason, that i'm not a big person, 5lbs really makes a difference. My pants are tight. Especially in the crotch. Like, my vagina is the first thing to get fat?? What's up with that?? But I have started running. Well....training to run. It's been exhilarating actually. My legs hurt and I can hardly walk, but I love it. I feel strong and fit and healthy. And you know what? I forgot to step on the scale this morning or before I went to work after my run! I just felt good. And I got dressed and showered and didn't even weigh myself. Which is kind of making me freak out....that I have no number reference for this morning. But maybe that's okay! Maybe running in the mornings is always going to make me feel like that? That'd be good actually! And it's bound to slim down my vagina.