Some of you will know this story....specifically those in Mr.Heuers grade 6 class at Kinnaird Elementary School back, ooohhhhh 20 years ago. I was twelve. Our class went on a field trip for a hike up to Meldiana Trail, a trail up along the side of a highway....we were to hike in (about an hour through a windey, bushy, very treed path) to an A frame structure beside a little lake for lunch. On the way to the A frame we pass a smaller pond which is full of frogs. Our class eats lunch and is hanging around the A frame and me and another girl go down the path back to the pond with some buckets to catch frogs. We load up a TON of frogs in our buckets....we can hear the class, but can't see them. All of a sudden we hear our class start shouting and yelling and banging and going wild.....there's a bear who's came for the food we brought. The other girl looks up at me quickly and darts off and through the pond and bushes around towards the A frame. I'm on the other side of the pond and kind of freeze....I'm a tiny girl who is scared of everything. As I stand there, clutching my bucket of frogs, I can hear them yelling louder and smashing sticks on the A frame....trying to scare the bear away. They don't realize I'm over by the pond, at the other end of the path, in exactly the direction they are trying to scare the bear. I start walking up the path towards them and see the bear. Okay, now when you are twelve, but the size of probably a seven or eight year old, bears are scary and big. Like, really really big. Like I don't even know how big this brown bear would be in real life, but to me at that time, it was the size of a horse. The bear turns and sees me. Now it's confused. It's like...pacing kind of back and forth towards the class, then towards me. It's scared and making gruff noises and snorting. Every thing I've ever heard about what to do when seeing a bear has been forgotten....the bear starts towards me I turn and I run, I fucking ruuunnnnn. I'm heading back along the path, hoping it's the right way back to the main highway. I hear the bear behind me.....and okay, I know I'm twelve and in my mind that bear was following me. Looking back now, I don't know if it was or not for any distance but back then, I wasn't stopping to find out. I did take the wrong path at one point and all of a sudden lost the trail, but somehow managed to back track quickly and get back on it. I get to the highway and I'm hysterical. I'm crying and sobbing.....scared that the bear is right behind me, or that there are other bears and now I'm all alone. My class and teacher don't realize where I've gone, all they would know at that point was that they scared a bear in my direction and I was all by myself. I stand on the side of the highway, tears streaming down my face, jumping up and down waving my arms frantically above my head. I don't even know what I'm flagging someone down for, but I can't stay alone. Eleven cars drive past me.....not stopping for the girl who looks like she's seven, crying on the side of the road. Finally a guy pulls over. He can't understand what I'm saying, I'm completely hysterical....all he gets out of it is "a bear" and somehow he pieces the rest together. To this day, I have learnt nothing about this guy except that he was maybe an ambulance attendant or volunteer fire fighter or something. He walks me alllllllllll the way back to the A frame, where my class is frantically trying to find me...or my mauled body, or something. My teacher spots me from behind this guy and runs over, grabbing me in a massive hug. The class all takes turns hugging me and of course, as grade 6 girls do, crying. At the end of the year, I buy my teacher a little soapstone carving of a bear.
Probably the scariest day of my life. To this day, living out where I do, I am terrified of bears. They walk through my yard, sit in the tree and I'm in a cold sweat in the house screaming for the kids to lock themselves in their rooms.
Fast forward to now......Mr.Heuer is still around and whenever he sees me (now and for the last 20 years) he says "Well, how's my little bear girl?" and every once in a while we talk about how that was one of the most terrifying days for the both of us. So this week, Monday, I'm out for my run and I see Mr.Heuer drive past. He smiles and waves. On Tuesday, he comes into my salon, a place he's never come, and says "I have something for you! I've had this for long enough, I think it's your turn now" and he gives me the soapstone bear. I ask him "did you see me out running yesterday and wonder if I was still running from those bears??" and he nods, totally seriously and says "yes, that thought did cross my mind. I figure, it's your turn now." So, on my little shelf at work, now sits a little soapstone carving of a bear holding a fish, maybe he'll sit there for the next 20 years and then I should pass him back again.
Friday, 9 March 2012
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
WARNING - You are going to implode with shock.
So this is going to come as a complete shock. Some of you might faint, please sit now if you think that could be you. There's going to be a lot of screaming and gasping and general over dramatised verklemption (please refer to SNL The Church Lady is this last word confuses you). But I've decided it has to be put out there....I just don't feel like you all can connect with me, really get me without sharing this blog posting with you. So are you all ready?? Sitting? Have some smelling salts and a shot of whisky handy (I know you do Ande)? Okay, here goes. I. Have. Bad. Habits. I'll give you a moment to process that and finish running around crying...
........................................................................................................you good? Okay. Yes, it's true. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner...and if you feel like I've been living a lie, I apologize for that too. I mean, I'm only human right? No no....I'm not trying to pacify you, you feel whatever emotions you want. I just want to share with you, a few of these bad habits....just to like, get on a real level with you. It's all for you in the end see? Because I love each and every one of you.
Bad Habit #1 - believe it or not, I don't have the language of nuns. Yes, this is probably going to be quite shocking. I have been known to utter some foul language.....language that could make your old Uncle Pete the trucker blush and cover his eyes....language that is so potentially foul, it hasn't even been invented yet....you don't even know if I'm swearing but you know it makes you feel funny in that spot deep down inside you. I curse a lot. I tried cutting back, but I think my vocabulary really suffered for it. What fun is pointing and grunting????
Bad Habit #2 - I procrastinate. Now I know that's a big fancy word, and sounds like it could even be a little sexual in nature, but I assure you, it's not a good thing. What I can do today, I'll put off for tomorrow! And like...write a blog instead!! The worst part is, I see myself doing this....and I tell myself "Self, get the fuck (refer to bad habit #1) off that computer and go find your children!" but then my self always gets all "you can't tell me what to do bitch!! (bh#1)"....which brings me to...
Bad Habit #3 - I have selective listening skills. Every "no" to me, is kinda like a challenge. What's that? No? Well then....give me 5 minutes and I'll ask you again. I don't know if this is really a bad habit...cause mostly it's for your own good that I'm convincing you to do something ridiculous and only slightly dangerous with me! Because I sure as heck wouldn't convince you to do laundry.....but i could convince you to do my laundry! No? We'll seeeeee........
Bad Habit #4 - I'm messy. GASP!!!!!!!!! I know right?????? I just....like having all my stuff out where I can see it, otherwise, it's lost. I'm worse then a child for opening up the fridge and screaming "WHAT!! OUT OF KETCHUP AGAIN??!!" only to have Barry move a milk jug over 1/4" to the left to reveal the hidden ketchup. If I can't see it, it doesn't exist....again, where the hell (bh#1) are my kids??
Bad Habit #5 - I drink. Wine. Lots. Now, this isn't really a bad habit in my books.....but the look upon my doctors face when she asked me how much alcohol I consumed a week, leads me to believe it's shunned upon in certain circles. I can't help it. Wine like....owns my soul! When wines around I'm all "yeah baby, slip me a roofie!"
Bad Habit #6 - I'm a flicker. Listening to music....oh? You like that song? *flick to another* Oh sorry...were you listening to that? *flick to another*. Watching TV....."In the Criminal Justice System the people are represented by two separate... *flick* "This is JEOPARDY..." *flick* *flick* *flick* *flick* I can't help it. It's a bad habit I got from my dad. I think my mom and Barry have started the first FGSPTRD club.....for those not familiar ForGodSakePutThatRemoteDown
So there you have it.....6 of my bad habits. I'm sorry to burst your "Shannons perfect" bubble, but someone had to do it. Not that I think you do....but if you do happen to recall any other tidbits that might be seen as "bad" or more like "slightly tarnished", then please, do share! I'll fight you....just kidding....violence wasn't on my list.
........................................................................................................you good? Okay. Yes, it's true. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner...and if you feel like I've been living a lie, I apologize for that too. I mean, I'm only human right? No no....I'm not trying to pacify you, you feel whatever emotions you want. I just want to share with you, a few of these bad habits....just to like, get on a real level with you. It's all for you in the end see? Because I love each and every one of you.
Bad Habit #1 - believe it or not, I don't have the language of nuns. Yes, this is probably going to be quite shocking. I have been known to utter some foul language.....language that could make your old Uncle Pete the trucker blush and cover his eyes....language that is so potentially foul, it hasn't even been invented yet....you don't even know if I'm swearing but you know it makes you feel funny in that spot deep down inside you. I curse a lot. I tried cutting back, but I think my vocabulary really suffered for it. What fun is pointing and grunting????
Bad Habit #2 - I procrastinate. Now I know that's a big fancy word, and sounds like it could even be a little sexual in nature, but I assure you, it's not a good thing. What I can do today, I'll put off for tomorrow! And like...write a blog instead!! The worst part is, I see myself doing this....and I tell myself "Self, get the fuck (refer to bad habit #1) off that computer and go find your children!" but then my self always gets all "you can't tell me what to do bitch!! (bh#1)"....which brings me to...
Bad Habit #3 - I have selective listening skills. Every "no" to me, is kinda like a challenge. What's that? No? Well then....give me 5 minutes and I'll ask you again. I don't know if this is really a bad habit...cause mostly it's for your own good that I'm convincing you to do something ridiculous and only slightly dangerous with me! Because I sure as heck wouldn't convince you to do laundry.....but i could convince you to do my laundry! No? We'll seeeeee........
Bad Habit #4 - I'm messy. GASP!!!!!!!!! I know right?????? I just....like having all my stuff out where I can see it, otherwise, it's lost. I'm worse then a child for opening up the fridge and screaming "WHAT!! OUT OF KETCHUP AGAIN??!!" only to have Barry move a milk jug over 1/4" to the left to reveal the hidden ketchup. If I can't see it, it doesn't exist....again, where the hell (bh#1) are my kids??
Bad Habit #5 - I drink. Wine. Lots. Now, this isn't really a bad habit in my books.....but the look upon my doctors face when she asked me how much alcohol I consumed a week, leads me to believe it's shunned upon in certain circles. I can't help it. Wine like....owns my soul! When wines around I'm all "yeah baby, slip me a roofie!"
Bad Habit #6 - I'm a flicker. Listening to music....oh? You like that song? *flick to another* Oh sorry...were you listening to that? *flick to another*. Watching TV....."In the Criminal Justice System the people are represented by two separate... *flick* "This is JEOPARDY..." *flick* *flick* *flick* *flick* I can't help it. It's a bad habit I got from my dad. I think my mom and Barry have started the first FGSPTRD club.....for those not familiar ForGodSakePutThatRemoteDown
So there you have it.....6 of my bad habits. I'm sorry to burst your "Shannons perfect" bubble, but someone had to do it. Not that I think you do....but if you do happen to recall any other tidbits that might be seen as "bad" or more like "slightly tarnished", then please, do share! I'll fight you....just kidding....violence wasn't on my list.
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
What is love? (crap, now I got that song from Night at the Roxbury stuck in my head)
So I woke up in the middle of the night like a bolt of friggen lightning with this amazing idea to blog about the subject "love". I lay there awake, debating getting up and coming down to write while the blog unfolded in my mind. It was magnificently worded, a picture weaving in and out with such a beautiful flow that it was almost like I could actually answer the question "what is love/in love" with my reasoning. The words formed in my mind for probably 45 minutes and just when I finally decided that I should get up to write, I had to go and ruin my life by falling back asleep. Now, here I sit, staring at the flashing cursor on my screen drawing a blank. Awesome. Now, why love you're probably asking....I mean didn't I just post yesterday my own love story, thus proving that maybe I somehow have something figured out about it? I just....hear it a lot.....from friends, clients etc.....that search for love, or whatever it may be....the desire to fall in love. And I don't know if it's the almost change in the season from dreary to spring, that all of a sudden everyone is looking for change and feeling lonely from the long winter. I still think it's hard living here, meeting people...I don't know what it is exactly....the lack of places to actually go and do things with people who are in the same boat as you (if someone suggests fishing on the arrow lakes, I will fight you).....or if it's the small town thing where everyone you run into, chances are you made out with them awkwardly in high school at a bush party. Or is it just part of that human thing, being evaded by love. Oh and why do some people just like, walk right on it to it....falling in love at the mention of a coffee date and others, you'd have to beat them with your feelings for them before they'll even reluctantly try and return the sentiment. And okay, I get it, trust is a big issue....but let's even pretend that trust doesn't exist anymore and just straight up, falling in love is the thing to do. Still, I bet still, there's some people out there who just naturally have a wall that you have to chip away at bit by bit. So what is "falling in love" and how do you know when you've done it? Someone asked this question once before on facebook and I responded with "when it happens with the same person more then once" but can I distinguish between just loving someone and that moment when you realize you do love someone? OMG this reminds me of a time in high school......hahahahaha....okay, I was dating Ryan....my first love....that total high school type love....I would have thrown myself off a bridge for him! So we just are like starting to be "going out" as one does in high school and I'm out shopping with my mom and walking down the milk aisle and all of a sudden like a ton of friggen bricks I have this realisation that I LOVE him! And I still, to this day, remember exactly what my feeling was at that exact moment....standing in Safeway with my braided pigtails, giant awful thrift store baggy pants, tie dye shirt, looking like a total skid and grinning like a complete idiot. Have I felt that feeling again since? Yeah, I'm sure I have! Okay, take the teenage hormones out of the picture and it doesn't feel quite the same way anymore....I'd like to think I'm a big more profound then that! I love being in love. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but sometimes I have fleeting moments of love for others....like this one time, I was waiting for my halloween costume to come in the mail....and you all know how I feel about halloween...well, it was the last day that the mail would come before we were going out and I was freaking out and the mailman walked in at the last second with my costume and I swear I fell in love right then and there! I said to him "you'd better get out of here cause I'm going to make out with you!" and he laughed and started to leave, then said "maybe I shouldn't!" and then it was just awkward. Or, okay, confession time....I'm secretly a little bit in love with this mortgage broker Paul who we've used in the past buying houses. Now, I've never actually met or seen Paul but he has the sexiest accent and I fell in love with him just talking on the phone! It's okay, you can tell my husband...he knows I'm a floozy like that. So what's your opinion?? How do you fall in love? What's your love style? Do you know when it happens? Does it sneak up and surprise you? Or do you keep it at bay, and not let it in.....fuck off love, not today!
Friday, 2 March 2012
Holy shit.
I'm a bit of a "last minute" kinda gal. I think I do better under pressure, but I'm probably just telling myself that because I'm also a bit of a procrastinator. For example, tomorrow Gill and I have appointments to get our new tattoos. Now, tattoos are a pretty serious thing....there's the whole permanent kinda deal. So you'd think this would be something that you'd have planned out for decades before getting to your appointment, all tho, if I could interrupt myself for a second, this one time I saw a lady walk into the tattoo shop and just like randomly point to a drawing on the wall and be like "ummm, yeah okay, that one." so I guess it does happen! Wait, where was I...........oh right.....so you'd think one would have a game plan on the Friday before a 1pm Saturday tattoo appointment. Now here's the shocker, maybe you'd best sit down.........I DON'T have a game plan. Wait, that's not entirely true, I have multiple game plans!! None of which are clear to me WHICH is the right game plan! So what do I do? I tell Gill I'm waiting for my spirit quest to show me the answer, when in reality I'm just going to sweat it out and freak out until the very last second! Now don't get me wrong, I'm not just going to waltz in there and wind up with regrets.....all of my ideas I have I adore and love and would be happy with. I probably will wind up with all the ideas inked on me somewhere in the future.....the location of all these pieces I can say I totally don't have ideas for. Now in all of this, am I concerned? No, not really. Should I be? Heck yes. What I'd really like is for someone to just bully me into the right answer....but it has to be the answer I want already but don't know I want? Ya know? Any takers?
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Conversation with Barry
Let me just first off start by saying this.....YES I AM STILL OBSESSING OVER FLUEVOGS. Okay, now that that's out of the way! I mean, just because I check 1983729 times a day to see if my boots are still available in my size (while a little icon flashes wildly at me saying HURRY only one pair left), doesn't make me crazy right? And what's going to happen the day I check and they're gone????! I shudder to imagine! But let's step back from my neurotic behaviours and talk about how that behaviour is going to play out with my polar opposite husband......this is our early morning text messages....
me - Phew. You'll be glad to know my fluevogs are still available.
B - You could put your tattoo money towards them!
me - Okay! So then my tattoo is my birthday present??
*silence*
I mean, my birthday is coming up, it only makes sense that I should get a present right?? And out of the two of them, I'm sure he'd consciously fund the boots over the tattoo. Barry isn't a fan of tattoos, all though last night he did claim that if he was to get one, it'd be the label of his favourite bottle of wine! No surprises there.
TO BE CONTINUED......
me - Phew. You'll be glad to know my fluevogs are still available.
B - You could put your tattoo money towards them!
me - Okay! So then my tattoo is my birthday present??
*silence*
I mean, my birthday is coming up, it only makes sense that I should get a present right?? And out of the two of them, I'm sure he'd consciously fund the boots over the tattoo. Barry isn't a fan of tattoos, all though last night he did claim that if he was to get one, it'd be the label of his favourite bottle of wine! No surprises there.
TO BE CONTINUED......
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
The Penis.....and if you are related to me, think twice about reading this...also if you are under the age of legal consent.
Okay so I've been out of the whole "dating loop" for a long time.....about 10 years to be exact. And, things have really changed in the last ten years. For example, cell phones. Now saying that is making me sound like I also walked up hill both ways to school when I was a kid, but it's true (not the hill part, but the change part). When Barry and I were first dating, he got his first cell phone. It was GIANT and did him NO good because he only knew a small handful of people who also had cell phones and really, you only used them to phone. There was no texting, picture messaging etc....so the novelty quickly wore off. Facebook wasn't rampant then either....there was no "facebook official" dating status or pictures to tag. In my opinion, things were much easier....less confusing anyways!! And I'm glad to say I'm out of the dating loop because Jesus, Mary and Joseph you couldn't pay me to date nowadays! All tho, if you did pay me to date you, my husband may be okay with that. While talking bills and budget the other night after a couple bottles of wine, he did mention that if I started having sex with a few of my clients, I'd make more money....I think he was kidding and I'm pretty sure he meant sex like in a metaphor for stimulating conversation....which I have with my clients already so maybe that's not it.....anyways, I'm sure he's not condoning prostitution but back to my original point....which was.....I lost it. So back to my original original point......
WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH TEXTING PENIS PICTURES????
Okay ladies, am I right? Or am I horribly old and a prude and obviously a nun? Like, does this do something exciting for you?? Now don't get me wrong, I'm okay with penises....(and if my mom is reading this, maybe just pretend like I'm talking about something else, nod, smile and skip to the end)...I wouldn't say the sight of a penis really does anything spectacular for me. They're kind of funny looking really. And so quirky....does it shift left.....point right....bend....have a hat on.....change colours....all sorts of different things. It's hard to really take any guy seriously when they're standing there pointing that thing at you that instantly brings me back to childhood.....not penises in my childhood let me just stop you there....but you know those things behind the doors? The door stops? The ones on the springs that you hit and they SPROING back up and make an amazingly annoying sound? Do you not just want to run over and give it a whack expecting the sound? Okay no? Just me? Mooovvinnnggg on.....like...as a girl, would you ever sit around on the internet googling pictures of penises to like, get off? I kinda think no. So why oh why would a guy think that texting a girl a picture of just his penis, with no other "hey how you doing?" would get him somewhere? Is it code for like, I'm ready? Sext me (another thing that I don't really get). Or is it just reverting back to all little boys fascination with hanging on to their wang for good luck and playing helicopter when they should be peeing. Am I totally out in space here?? I know the old myth about guys being more "visual" when it comes to turn ons is truly a myth and ladies are just as much visual creatures too.....but does that do it for you? Or do we all just smile and pretend like we enjoy it as not to hurt their little feelings? C'mon ladies, tell me your feedback!! What is up with getting a penis picture? Do you like it? Or do you show it to all your girlfriends and giggle? And lets face it, these pictures of penises being texted are not like Ron Jeremy sized or anything....they're just your average dongs....or smaller....not that size matters to anyone...okay, that's a lie....size does matter to some but I guess there's a way to like, take a picture and have it look bigger? Maybe like next to a doll hand pretending it's like, your own hand or something? Okay...now I'm just getting creepy.....
WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH TEXTING PENIS PICTURES????
Okay ladies, am I right? Or am I horribly old and a prude and obviously a nun? Like, does this do something exciting for you?? Now don't get me wrong, I'm okay with penises....(and if my mom is reading this, maybe just pretend like I'm talking about something else, nod, smile and skip to the end)...I wouldn't say the sight of a penis really does anything spectacular for me. They're kind of funny looking really. And so quirky....does it shift left.....point right....bend....have a hat on.....change colours....all sorts of different things. It's hard to really take any guy seriously when they're standing there pointing that thing at you that instantly brings me back to childhood.....not penises in my childhood let me just stop you there....but you know those things behind the doors? The door stops? The ones on the springs that you hit and they SPROING back up and make an amazingly annoying sound? Do you not just want to run over and give it a whack expecting the sound? Okay no? Just me? Mooovvinnnggg on.....like...as a girl, would you ever sit around on the internet googling pictures of penises to like, get off? I kinda think no. So why oh why would a guy think that texting a girl a picture of just his penis, with no other "hey how you doing?" would get him somewhere? Is it code for like, I'm ready? Sext me (another thing that I don't really get). Or is it just reverting back to all little boys fascination with hanging on to their wang for good luck and playing helicopter when they should be peeing. Am I totally out in space here?? I know the old myth about guys being more "visual" when it comes to turn ons is truly a myth and ladies are just as much visual creatures too.....but does that do it for you? Or do we all just smile and pretend like we enjoy it as not to hurt their little feelings? C'mon ladies, tell me your feedback!! What is up with getting a penis picture? Do you like it? Or do you show it to all your girlfriends and giggle? And lets face it, these pictures of penises being texted are not like Ron Jeremy sized or anything....they're just your average dongs....or smaller....not that size matters to anyone...okay, that's a lie....size does matter to some but I guess there's a way to like, take a picture and have it look bigger? Maybe like next to a doll hand pretending it's like, your own hand or something? Okay...now I'm just getting creepy.....
Monday, 20 February 2012
Fun Facts! Or not...god there is just NO pleasing you is there??!!
In the spirit of complete randomness, this post is dedicated to my parents. My darling kooky parents, who without them, I would not be the person I am today. Basically, everything about me that's "odd", I'm blaming on them....but don't tell them that. Let's just pretend right now that I'm writing this because...like.....I admire them? Yeah, I admire them and cherish all my personality traits cause that's what makes me "me". And the funniest part is, most of you know my parents....and you know how completely insane they are! And the fact that me and my siblings are so put together is really just sheer luck and street smarts! I mean....gaawwddd.....so anyways, thanks to them I'm a pseudo-nut job...oh no, wait.....pseudo means fake....thank you grade 7...so I guess I'm just a nut job? Okay, glad to clear that up. Here are some fun facts about moi!
1) I wear glasses. Yes, I'm starting off a little disappointing here. But the fact I wear glasses is only known to anyone who has ever been here late enough in the evening to see me attempt to watch TV from across the living room. Cause that's the only time I wear them. Now now, don't fret, I don't need them to cut hair! Just like...detail work....annnd stuff....waaaiittt......awkward....
2) I have NEVER seen an episode of The Bachelor, Bachelorette, Biggest Loser, American Idol, The Voice, America's got Talent, Kardashians, or anything on MTV, blah blah reality TV. The last reality TV show I watched was the finale of the VERY FIRST SEASON of Survivor....I was pregnant with Gavin and it was 1999.
3) Continuing with the NEVER TV theme....I have NEVER seen the movie Titanic. This used to piss my sister off who loved the movie....she'd try and sneak it into the VCR (google it) and try and pretend it was a different movie and trap me into watching it. Nowadays, it's strictly this; if I watch it, I can no long say I've NEVER seen it. So I won't.
4) I know how to juggle. This fact once brought a girl to tears (it was Gill, still don't know why my juggling brought her to such emotion) and is a sight that again, few have witnessed. I'm not an amazing juggler anymore, but maybe I'll practice again and take my show on the road.
5) Boys with long hair make me SWWOOONNN. I'm not talking about those scruffy, shaggy junior high/high school boys.....I'm talking like grown up boys. With long hair.......ohhhhh yeah. I once dated a guy in college who my sister called "Jesus" and yeah, it was pretty accurate.
6) Okay....now this is a deep dark secret. Maybe I'll save it for the end....it's pretty unreal.
7) In too many ways, I am EXACTLY. MY. DAD. This fact was thrown in my face during an argument with him the other night and as he sat there smirking, I had to resist the urge to start screaming dramatically and pack my stuff and run away. Now I know for a fact, he'll never read this (fun fact about him....he just recently learnt how to turn on a computer) so I feel safe in saying that I usually regard my father (lovingly sure) as a spoiled rotten child. That pretty much sums up his personality. So the fact that we share so many similar traits, makes me crazy annoyed. I'm alot like my mom too, but I think the personality traits of mine that are the quickest to flare up and show themselves come from him. SUCH AS....my temper, impatience, inability to be bored without killing people, need for constant motion, TV/radio station/song constant flicking, acting like spoiled rotten brats, we have a hard time when we're not the centre of the universe (thank you MOM for the combo on this one and my ability to at least pretend I'm not when needed) and the list goes on. But as much as I have those traits, it's not all bad from him.....I also have good knees for sports, sense of humour, easy to make friends, can talk to anyone in the world and have them fall in love with me (even if just a little bit), love of music and an appreciation for the things that make a small town small. So it's a bit of both.
8) I LOVE to write! Okay, again, not blowing your mind here. I can hear you thinking "do you think we're idiots? Obviously you're writing this right now!" and no, I think you're all brilliant...I'm talking about writing stories, poems, essays, fact, fiction etc etc. I ADORE writing! I was that girl who would bang out an obscenely large essay the night before and get an A on it. I used to have quite a collection of my writings....before computers were so rampant....and a friend of mine had them to edit for me and left them in his car and then sold his car and they all went to the dump. He nicely offered to help me re-write them claiming he could remember the basic ideas of them but I was upset and discouraged and that was pretty much the end of my writing career.....the dump.
9) All through school, I thought when I graduated, I would go to acting school. I LOVE acting. My dream was to be in a production on Broadway. I'd like to think that if my life had gone in a different direction, I would have had the gusto to make that happen.
10) I'm obsessed with leather, pvc, latex clothing. Anytime I have a costume to wear, I try and incoporate as much of these fabrics as possible. They make me feel amazing when wearing.
11) And last but not least....my deep dark secret.....are you ready? For those who already know this fact (all 4 of you) you can feel smug in knowing that before I published it on the entire world wide web, I felt safe enough to share with you.....you're welcome. So...okay.....it's hard to type....i'm feeling all sweaty and my palms are damp........CHEERLEADERS MAKE ME CRY. Okay...I think it feels good to get that out...all tho, it makes me feel like i'm going to cry....thinking about them. Now this is a crazy thing. It all started when I was pregnant with Gavin and I'd watch those like cheer competitions on TV and something about them made me bawl my face off. I don't know if it's like the high level of energy, the sound of the crowd, how they all fill out their cheerleading bibs with their boobs unlike I was ever able to do in pompom girls, the fact that they have so much team spirit...I don't know. And this wasn't like a silent sobbing type cry....it was a full out vocal my grandmother just died gut wrenching body busting wail. And now, the thought of watching it makes the hairs on my arms stand up and my eyes get misty. I thought once I had Gavin, hormones being hormones, I'd go back to normal and this wouldn't happen. But no....it does. And it's the worst thing ever. Remember when those movies "Bring it" or whatever came out? Do you know how many times they advertised on TV? Instant tear fest, every time.
So there you have it. Eleven fun filled facts about me. Because I am the centre of the universe and you are all in love with me, am I missing any great ones that people should know? If so, please share!
1) I wear glasses. Yes, I'm starting off a little disappointing here. But the fact I wear glasses is only known to anyone who has ever been here late enough in the evening to see me attempt to watch TV from across the living room. Cause that's the only time I wear them. Now now, don't fret, I don't need them to cut hair! Just like...detail work....annnd stuff....waaaiittt......awkward....
2) I have NEVER seen an episode of The Bachelor, Bachelorette, Biggest Loser, American Idol, The Voice, America's got Talent, Kardashians, or anything on MTV, blah blah reality TV. The last reality TV show I watched was the finale of the VERY FIRST SEASON of Survivor....I was pregnant with Gavin and it was 1999.
3) Continuing with the NEVER TV theme....I have NEVER seen the movie Titanic. This used to piss my sister off who loved the movie....she'd try and sneak it into the VCR (google it) and try and pretend it was a different movie and trap me into watching it. Nowadays, it's strictly this; if I watch it, I can no long say I've NEVER seen it. So I won't.
4) I know how to juggle. This fact once brought a girl to tears (it was Gill, still don't know why my juggling brought her to such emotion) and is a sight that again, few have witnessed. I'm not an amazing juggler anymore, but maybe I'll practice again and take my show on the road.
5) Boys with long hair make me SWWOOONNN. I'm not talking about those scruffy, shaggy junior high/high school boys.....I'm talking like grown up boys. With long hair.......ohhhhh yeah. I once dated a guy in college who my sister called "Jesus" and yeah, it was pretty accurate.
6) Okay....now this is a deep dark secret. Maybe I'll save it for the end....it's pretty unreal.
7) In too many ways, I am EXACTLY. MY. DAD. This fact was thrown in my face during an argument with him the other night and as he sat there smirking, I had to resist the urge to start screaming dramatically and pack my stuff and run away. Now I know for a fact, he'll never read this (fun fact about him....he just recently learnt how to turn on a computer) so I feel safe in saying that I usually regard my father (lovingly sure) as a spoiled rotten child. That pretty much sums up his personality. So the fact that we share so many similar traits, makes me crazy annoyed. I'm alot like my mom too, but I think the personality traits of mine that are the quickest to flare up and show themselves come from him. SUCH AS....my temper, impatience, inability to be bored without killing people, need for constant motion, TV/radio station/song constant flicking, acting like spoiled rotten brats, we have a hard time when we're not the centre of the universe (thank you MOM for the combo on this one and my ability to at least pretend I'm not when needed) and the list goes on. But as much as I have those traits, it's not all bad from him.....I also have good knees for sports, sense of humour, easy to make friends, can talk to anyone in the world and have them fall in love with me (even if just a little bit), love of music and an appreciation for the things that make a small town small. So it's a bit of both.
8) I LOVE to write! Okay, again, not blowing your mind here. I can hear you thinking "do you think we're idiots? Obviously you're writing this right now!" and no, I think you're all brilliant...I'm talking about writing stories, poems, essays, fact, fiction etc etc. I ADORE writing! I was that girl who would bang out an obscenely large essay the night before and get an A on it. I used to have quite a collection of my writings....before computers were so rampant....and a friend of mine had them to edit for me and left them in his car and then sold his car and they all went to the dump. He nicely offered to help me re-write them claiming he could remember the basic ideas of them but I was upset and discouraged and that was pretty much the end of my writing career.....the dump.
9) All through school, I thought when I graduated, I would go to acting school. I LOVE acting. My dream was to be in a production on Broadway. I'd like to think that if my life had gone in a different direction, I would have had the gusto to make that happen.
10) I'm obsessed with leather, pvc, latex clothing. Anytime I have a costume to wear, I try and incoporate as much of these fabrics as possible. They make me feel amazing when wearing.
11) And last but not least....my deep dark secret.....are you ready? For those who already know this fact (all 4 of you) you can feel smug in knowing that before I published it on the entire world wide web, I felt safe enough to share with you.....you're welcome. So...okay.....it's hard to type....i'm feeling all sweaty and my palms are damp........CHEERLEADERS MAKE ME CRY. Okay...I think it feels good to get that out...all tho, it makes me feel like i'm going to cry....thinking about them. Now this is a crazy thing. It all started when I was pregnant with Gavin and I'd watch those like cheer competitions on TV and something about them made me bawl my face off. I don't know if it's like the high level of energy, the sound of the crowd, how they all fill out their cheerleading bibs with their boobs unlike I was ever able to do in pompom girls, the fact that they have so much team spirit...I don't know. And this wasn't like a silent sobbing type cry....it was a full out vocal my grandmother just died gut wrenching body busting wail. And now, the thought of watching it makes the hairs on my arms stand up and my eyes get misty. I thought once I had Gavin, hormones being hormones, I'd go back to normal and this wouldn't happen. But no....it does. And it's the worst thing ever. Remember when those movies "Bring it" or whatever came out? Do you know how many times they advertised on TV? Instant tear fest, every time.
So there you have it. Eleven fun filled facts about me. Because I am the centre of the universe and you are all in love with me, am I missing any great ones that people should know? If so, please share!
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