The Middle Child

You know....I was always super happy that I didn't have any girls.  Don't get me wrong, girls are lovely (just look at me! ha!) and I know that having girls would be a totally different, lifetime of companionship compared to boys.  For me, I was always terrified that karma would kick my ass if I had girls.  I know what kind of a girl I was....and that scared me.  I could get into stories, but that's a whole other blog post. That and hormones.  Uggghhh.....I don't think our house is big enough for more hormones, mine are through the roof all on their own.  So I guess my point is that I felt "safe" after having 3 boys of my own. 

Weeeelllllll........along came Kohen.

Kohen is a breed unto his own.  He can be the sweetest child on the face of the planet.  The most caring and loving and considerate and helpful and thoughtful and the list truly goes on.  And thank goddess for that because that takes up maybe 13% of his time, and the rest of the time........it can be hell.  This is my penance.  This is my karma.  He is a trying, difficult, life sucking entity and I mean that in the most loving motherly way.  When Kohen is around, the world enters it's own gravitational pull and surrounds only him.  You can't focus elsewhere, he just sucks all the attention and energy out of everyone in the room.  My mom ofter remarks, after a visit to our house, that she feels bad for the other kids because she didn't get a chance to have any one on one with them.  And she's always a little stunned, that feeling of "what the hell just happened?" as she's getting ready to leave and realizing that she's exhausted.  That's how I feel most days.  He's exhausting.  We go in waves these days thankfully.  In the last couple years, it was all the time and now, we have ups and we have downs.  I'd like to think the calm times are as many as the crazy times, but I could just be hopefully delusional.  And just when you think you are going to snap and lose your shit and give him to the neighbours, he turns around and just does something so heart wrenchingly beautiful and sweet and you just melt and realize you can make it another day with Kohen.  Oh and he looks amazingly darling when he's sleeping, a time my husband spends to watch and tear up over how much he loves him.  You have to take those moments because when he's awake some days, you wonder if you'll both survive the day.

It's all for the ass in the end.

Oh hi there!  It's been awhile!  I started my other blog, and completely forgot about this blog.....this one where I share the insides of me, not the outsides like my other blog.  Truthfully, this is the scarier blog to write because I tend to have an issue "over sharing" sometimes.....but that's why I enjoy this venue to share!!  Today I want to share with you a little secret.  I'm off the scale.  I don't know if anyone remembers my obsession with the scale.  That horrible thing in my bathroom that called me to step on it two, three, four times a day....never changing much, but giving me a number that I could tuck away in my brain and process and over analyse.  But, I've started going to the gym....which you'd think would make me more apt to standing on the scale but it's been the opposite.  I ADORE the gym!  And I've totally ditched the scale. Crazy hey?  It's been making this winter bearable....the darkness okay....the early cozy nights pleasant and my moods more stable then they have been in a long time (or at least I think so...my husband might disagree).  I'm pissed at myself that I didn't figure out this whole physical activity thing and winter and moods sooner!  But here I am, three days a week at the gym with my gym buddy Nicole.  It's been blissful.  I've seen a bit of a transformation, nothing drastic....which is okay!  I'm not in it to really change....more just to feel good.  Which I do.  My arms have a bit more definition, my legs are gonna look nice in shorts and I have energy and stamina and feel strong.  Now I don't know if everyone has taken to my gym routine as pleasantly as I have.  It's been hard on the rest of the family.  Mostly because those three days a week are typically after I finish work so I get home that bit later and dinner is that bit later and my husband is picking up more of the slack.  I get twinges of guilt....when I come home and everyone is miserable and I'm on a total high from the physical exertion.  And I keep telling myself I'm going to be more organised in meal planning and crock potting and try to keep it as non disruptive as I can, but it's hard.  The three kids and the business suck so much out of me to begin with....but I need this.  And I want to feel good about myself....and a nicer, tighter ass doesn't hurt anything either right??

Figure skaters ftw.

So I started another blog.  And it's actually pretty fun.  I'm posting all my outfit choices for the days and asking people to give me feed back on them!  So far everyone has been pretty nice, nothing rude or mean or anything!  Which, I'm not asking for rude or mean, but I hope I can get some genuine feed back from people.  I honestly don't have this amazing fashion sense, and I follow fashion only so far as a 30 something year old, 5'2ish mother from Castlegar BC can!  Which, isn't very well!  Shopping around here is pretty limited (as are my funds!) and clothing just isn't designed for bodies like mine!  But I enjoy putting clothes together and always have!  I can remember when I was probably 10ish.  Me and my bestie Charlotte were obsessed with watching figure skating.  And we'd oooooh and aaaaah over the costumes and always remark "I WISH I could just have all those costumes for my own!".....I didn't even (still don't) know how to skate!  We just wanted to like, wear skating outfits all the time...everyday...for every occasion!! 

And the obsession never really stopped!  For clothing that is, I eventually outgrew my obsession with figure skating outfits.  So if any of this seems at all interesting....follow my other blog too!!  And recommend either of them to your friends! 

http://fashionwhorenamedshannon.blogspot.com/

Grumpiest Morning Ever

So this morning I had the GRUMPIEST morning ever.  Which I guess I've already summed up in the "title" so I didn't need to repeat myself.  Whatever.  It's my morning and I can be as grumpy as I want! 

Do you ever like....have a plan for how something is going to go?  Like this magical Disney movie type scenario in your head, with all these little amazing details planned out....then you get to the execution of the plan and it all just goes to shit?  Like, all of it.  Shit.  That's kind of how my morning went.  Last night I had these grandeur plans of waking up my darling sleeping children, making their lunches (in a jaunty apron with little blue birds flying around my head helping me like tie the twist ties and singing and shit), gently coaxing them out the door only to stand on the porch and giggle while shaking my head slowly cause the youngest rascal forgot his lunch and is running back to fetch it then we'd laugh and laugh......coming back into the house and enjoying a steaming mug of perfectly brewed coffee, plugging into my iPhone and going for a run in the crisp mountain air (also adding 5 minutes to my overall run time with little or no effort), coming home feeling refreshed and dewy with sweat  dew drops and sunshine, having a steamy shower and then starting my magically awesome day.  That was the plan.  I don't understand how it could all go so wrong?? 

What really happened...

Tried to rouse the kids while they cried that they were too tired and fought me all the way.  Went to make coffee and found out there was NO coffee.  At all.  Well, okay, that's a lie.  There was a random bag of I don't even know what grounds of coffee from I don't even know when that I'm sure is mostly dust now and I couldn't bring myself to drink it cause it smelt like old people and despair.  Fought with the kids about every aspect of their morning while shhhh'ing them every 2 seconds because the baby was still sleeping.  Cried.  Finally kicked them off to the bus, locked the door.  Still no coffee.  Baby still sleeping.  Expecting husband home from work any minute with coffee...get a text that he's running way later then he thought and he's nowhere near coming home, with coffee.  Cry more.  Give up on morning and go back to bed.  Sleeping baby still in bed, all warm and cuddly which is a plus.  Crawl into bed and baby's diaper gives out and feel a warm puddle of pee down my arm/pj's/clean new fresh sheets/body.  Fuck.  Get up and phone my mom in tears to ask for coffee.  Drive over there in my pj's and messy hair with baby crying in van.  Mom laughs at my outfit and I die a little inside.  Finally get home to make coffee and moms special mix of beans is weak and not yummy.  Drink 1/2 pot anyways.  Give up on dreams of run and stuff myself with bagels and chocolate cookies.

So as you can see, all though my reality morning and my dream morning were close to one another....it just didn't come together.  As my dad always says "close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades" so there's that piece of wisdom.  Now to go change a crappy diaper and turn up the furnace to spite my husband.

Random iPhone Notes

So every once in a while I have an interaction with someone, or over hear an interaction that I immediately HAVE to write down cause I think, man that shit is good!!  So I whip out my handy dandy iPhone, and pop it into my notes....where I promptly forget about it.  So the other day, for some reason, I start scrolling through my notes and find all sorts of stuff.  Some of it, I don't even know why or what.  It's like a random word and I wonder why the me entering that note EVER thought "Oh ya, I'll know what I'm talking about!" because at the best of times, I don't know what I'm talking about!!!  So I thought I'd share...a few good....a few random....a few confusing.

Okay so the first 2 notes are about wine.  SIGH!  Seriously.  One titled "wines we enjoy!" and I even have that jaunty exclamation point!  Ya!  Wine!  A better list would have probably been "wines we don't enjoy" and then I could have put like a :( or something....and included only this - homemade wine.  Now don't get all huffy all you homemade wine makers.  If it floats your boat, then I'm happy for you!  But it sinks mine.  And I'm okay with that.  And now we're not even through one note and I'm being judged for being a snob. So I've included the wines "Southern most patagonia 2006 Argentina" and "terra andina cab merlot 2007 Chile" and "funky llama" and other then the funky llama, I don't believe I ever pulled out this note again to look for these wines.  AND it's dated 2008-11-10.  I'll be sure and save that one.

And 630 days ago I posted "Very Hollywood Michael Kors" which I'm assuming is a book??  But that's all I have...and I never looked at it again.

And a few months ago, my loving husband told me this little bit of wisdom over a beautiful supper....and it seriously cracked me up.
        
                 "Once in a while, you come home early and that's a treat.  Once in a while you come home early in a good mood, and that's a treat!  Once in a while you come home early in a good mood.....and I'm in a good mood......*pause* *deep thought* *realization*......and that's how we get pregnant.  We should both get second jobs."

And can you see why I love him?  Sweet as they come!!


Camping this summer.....down at the playground with out kids and Lenny is making goo goo eyes at these 2 girls (12ish? 13ish?) on the swings.
          Girl 1 - AW ISN'T HE SO ADORABLE???  Hi little guyyyy!!  Hiiiii litttllllleee guuuuuyyyy!  Awwwww JUST adorable!!!
          Girl 2 - Yeah.  He's..........adorable.
          Girl 1 - And that's why I'm a babysitter!  Right there!
          Girl 2 - And that's why I'm NOT a babysitter!  I mean, kids are cute....but kids are ANNOYING!

And I thought.....yeah girl 2!  I get you!  I GET you! 
Deepest connection with a random stranger.  I got her.

I have a bunch of "shopping list" notes, a couple "Christmas list" notes and a MILLION notes telling me who to text, facebook or phone back with regards to making appointments.  Also one random note that says "damask" and I don't know why.  But it says nothing else.  Mystery?

Summer....just when you're really warming up to her, she friggen up and leaves.

So summer.  Where the heck did it go?  I know I know.....everyone is saying this.  And I guess we were just so busy this summer, and with the slow start on the weather, it just seemed to fly by.  So what did we do this summer?  When my clients ask me this, my first answer is "worked" which is true....but when I really think about it, we did lots more!!!

Birthdays, parties and dinner guests - I honestly wish I would have counted the amount of red wine bottles we've accumulated this summer.  It would make you disgusted.  You would stop reading my blog and next time you saw me, possibly throw sticks or rocks or something.  Sure, the odd few would move in, living out of our basement, sneaking up every evening with a wine goblet or vase or something.  But most of you would cry for our poor childrens education funds and livers.  I mean, we had help drinking them all.  Lots and lots of helpful help.  We had a few birthday parties, we had lots of out of town guests, we had the work crew over, we had Mexican night and we threw many a dinner party!  So really, I guess all the red wine bottles, it's not us.  It's you.  All of you.  And you should all be disgusted with yourselves.

-Barry's little *ahem* procedure - yup.  Totally got his nuts snipped.  So he was off his feet for a few days making sweet sweet love with a couple bags of slutty peas.  I played nurse (minus the awesome Naughty Nurse costume...why wasn't I more prepared??) and found out that trying to keep all the kids from jumping on his junk challenging. 

-Camping - we camped.  For 5 nights.  It was...........good.  Busy.  But, there was one or two nice relaxing moments.  I'm not sure why camping always seems like this amazing get away.  It is SO busy.  Between the prep and packing and hauling everything out there and setting up and trying to keep things clean and you wash dishes like 294372 times a day and then the pack up again and hauling everything back just to wash laundry for the next six months and not even be caught up...it pretty much sucks....really.  Like if you were from another planet and someone had to describe camping to you, pretty sure you'd get in that space ship, and never come back.
                                                                   Alien - Camping?  What's that?
                                                                   Me - Well, you try and pack up everything you might possibly need for the next few days and buy food that could go bad at any second because it's crammed into a little box with a few ice cubes and then you haul it all out to the dirt somewhere and like, live there.
                                                                   Alien- But why?
                                                                   Me -  Oh you know, cause it's SO relaxing!  I mean, the trips back and forth to haul water, and the washing of dishes and cleaning of the site and the freezing cold mornings and peeing in the bushes and constant screeching of birds and trying to keep everything away from bears or wildlife and the ticks and bugs and bees and mosquitoes and sun burns and freezing cold lake and trying to keep an almost 2 year old in one camp spot even though there are wide open spaces all around us and you know....it's a good time!
                                                                    Alien - fuck.  You people are stupider then we thought.      

And now I'm stumped.  Is that all we did that is monumental?  Man.  That's a sad list!  I mean, of course we had a visit from my Aunt from Ontario and that was lovely!  OH we had an outdoor movie night!  And that was AMAZING!  Such fun!  We invited some neighbours and my moms family all came and we set up lawn chairs at my parents house.  My uncle brought a projector and we watched HoodWinked.  Gavin and his friend made popcorn and served everyone in individual paper bags and we sat outside with a glass of wine and watched the movie.  Even the little kids watched and it was such a neat thing to do!!!

The garage door made for a great movie screen!

We also had a quick trip to Cranbrook and my mother in law made a quick trip here.  So I guess we did do a few more things.  I'm sort of excited though....to get back to routine.  Back to getting up in the mornings and going to bed early in the evenings.  The kids were totally bored anyways and I think they both were excited to go back to school.  I know in a week, I'll be bitching about lunches and all that school related stuff, but for today, I'm going to have another cup of coffee in my quiet house and be okay with summer being over.

What do you want for dinner?

What do you want for dinner?? 

A question that gets asked at our house everyday, as almost a joke.  We can never quite decide what we want for dinner.  Why not?  Because we eat amazingly well.  And there's never a lack of meals, or types of food in our house!  Take this past week for instance.  We had everything from breaded pork cutlets to BBQ steak tenderloin to grilled pork tenderloin to chicken curry.  Now my husband always claims it's because of me and my picky eating habits.  Which I don't think I have, but I just like good tasting food.  And good tasting food to me isn't hamburger or hot dogs or dry roasts.  It's food full of flavor, and spices and butter!  Food that goes amazing with a lovely bottle glass of red wine!  You don't have a grilled cheese for dinner and think "Mmm, this would go good with a lovely Merlot!"....well, if you had grilled cheese the way I make it, with layers of different ooey gooey foreign sounding cheeses and grated Parmesan crusting the outer layer of the sandwich...a sandwich recipe stolen from our friend Laurie who made them for us after the bar one night at 2 or 3am in our kitchen while we giggled and tried not to wake up the kids.....ANYWAYS, my original point is I like soul food.  Food that has reason, meaning and flavor!  Now my husband, he's more of a meat and potato kind of guy.  Don't take this to mean he's a boring food eater, or doesn't like anything fancy because he will eat ANYTHING.  Honest.  Even as he's exclaiming that he doesn't like it, he will eat it.  He's just not that concerned with food the way I am.  I mean, I get the lip smacking "mmmmmmmm"s out of him because he can appreciate a lovely meal, but if it wasn't lovely, he'd still eat every drop.  He likes to joke that he was 185lbs when he first met me, and now, well, he's a few more lbs since then.  That's love honey!  You hear me?  It's cause I love you through my cooking!  He knows.  So back to my husband.....if I ask him "what do you want for dinner?" on any given day/time/hour he is 99% likely to reply "chicken scallopine".

Let's try it now actually...I'm going to text him "What do you want for dinner?" Okay...let's see what he says.

While we're waiting, let me also share that he loves my chicken scallopine recipe so much he named Sundays "Scallopine Sunday" and we are to eat scallopini every Sunday. EVEN if he's talked me into making it for him on Friday for example...by Sunday, he'll be asking for it again. It is a really good recipe.  And super easy too!  Which is great because we usually start cooking after we get home from work, which means we usually eat supper around 7 or 7:30 or 8pm even.  Plus, it's easy to pull out a portion for the kids before it's finished and full of "strange" ingredients (ie green things).....anyone with kids know how picky they can be!  And just because they like something one day, doesn't mean they'll like it the next!

OH!  He texts back "chicken".  He knows I'm testing him...he's a smart guy really.  Can't fool him.  All though, I did ask him 2 days ago and he said scallopine, and that was also his answer 4 days ago so I guess maybe he can want something else.

So the famous scallopine!!  I have to say....I got the recipe from The Pioneer Woman.  She's got amazing food!!!!!  I've made a few things now from her and everything is a smash hit!!  Especially if you enjoy butter and cream and fat and delicious.  Then you would love her!! Actually, that's pretty much the best description of me...butter and cream and fat and delicious!  And peppy.  I think I'm kind of peppy.

The Pioneer Womans Chicken Scallopini that makes my husband fall in love with me (or it) every time I make it.....
(PS - I've tweaked it a smidge....and this is how I make it, but you can tweak it also!)

-Schmooosh some boneless, skinless chicken thighs with a rolling pin between 2 sheets of wax paper (or you can use breasts) till they are pretty thin and will cook quick and even.

-chuck them in a bag of flour, salt and pepper and shake them all around

-heat a pan (big enough to make sauce in after) and put in some butter (lots) and some olive oil

-brown your chicken and cook till just done, put aside (or put in the oven on warm on a plate like I do! I like to use a plate with a bit of sides so that it catches all the yummy juices from the chicken to add later.)

-take your yummy pan with chicken bits all browned in it and add a bit more oil if needed, then chuck in some sliced mushrooms and stir them all around

-add 1 cup white wine (or chicken broth or both!  I usually use the 1 cup wine and throw in maybe 1/2 cup chicken broth too)....now squeeze the juice of half a lemon, or a whole lemon depending on how lemony you enjoy stuff!  I like both halves in there!

-heat up and scrape off all the yummy browned bits from the pan....let bubble good and hard for a few mins.

-now add a heaping tsp (or 4) of capers!  I try not to get too too much caper juice in there but a bit is ok!

-okay so here's the good part....turn down your pan so it's just just simmering.  Now add 1/2 cup whipping cream (or if you're like me, add 3/4-1 cup whipping cream cause I'm delicious like that!)

-throw in some fresh parsley (or that amazing freeze dried crap), stir it all up and taste it....MMM.....this is where you can add more salt or pepper as needed...I usually add a dash of worchesterschire sauce and sometimes 1/2 a packet of chicken bouillon but lots of times it's perfect as is!

How to serve....

Cook up some of your favorite linguine or fettuccine and put this in the bottom of a big platter.  Place your chicken pieces on top and then pour whatever juices have collected in the bottom of the chicken plate.  Top with AMAZING sauce (don't waste a drop!!) and then sprinkle with Parmesan cheese!

DIG IN!  Have some crusty bread and a glass of wine to go with it all!  Also, a treadmill because you are going to want to eat alot of this...all the time.....and your skinny jeans are going to HATE you.  You're welcome!